While fishing on a river in a small farming town, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of crocodiles kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old farmer standing on the bank, the tourist shouted: “Are there any crocodiles around here?!”
“Nah,” the man hollered back. “Hasn’t been any for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the bank. About halfway there he asked the guy: “How’d you get rid of the crocs?”
“We didn’t do anything’,” the farmer said. “The sharks got ’em.”
A farmer walked into a hardware store and asked for a chainsaw that could cut down six trees in one hour. The salesman recommended a top-of-the-line model. The farmer was suitably impressed and bought it.
The next day though he took it back and complained that it would only cut down one tree and it took all day!
The salesman took the chainsaw, started it up to see what was wrong, and the farmer said: “What’s that noise?”
The farmer’s son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.
Chickens scurried off in different directions but the determined boy walked all over the neighbourhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
“Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly. “But I managed to find all twelve of them.”
“Well, you did real good, son,” the farmer beamed. “Because you only left with seven.”