Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy’s forthcoming wedding:

“Och, it’s all goin’ pure brilliant,” says Jimmy. “A’ve goat everythin’ organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the Minister, even ma stag night.”

Archie nods approvingly.

“A’ve even boat a kilt to be married in!” continues Jimmy.

“A kilt?” exclaims Archie, “That’s magic, you’ll look pure smart in tha. Wha’s the tartan?”

“Och,” says Jimmy, “A’d imagine she’ll be in white!”