MacAndrews was visiting his cousin, O’Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there one afternoon, his cousin walked by.
“What are ye doing?” asked O’Bannon. “Fishing,” said MacAndrews.
“Caught anything?”
“Nah, not even a bite.”
“What are ye using for bait?”
“Worms.”
“Let me see it,” said O’Bannon.
MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin.
O’Bannon took out his flask of whiskey and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out.
“Have you got a bite?” asked O’Bannon.
“No!” shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod. “The worm’s got a salmon by the throat!”
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.
The jeweller asked: “Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?”
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered: “No, instead engrave ‘To my one and only love’.”
The jeweller smiled and said: “Yes, sir, how very romantic of you.”
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye: “Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.”
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
“Have you ever seen one of these before?” one asked.
“Yeah, my mum and dad have one,” the other replied.
“What’s it for?” asked the first boy.
“I don’t know,” the second boy answered. “I think you stand on it and it makes you mad.”