An Irishman spends the entire night drinking at a pub. When he tries to stand up to leave, he immediately falls flat on his face. Determined, he tries again, but once more he hits the floor. Figuring some fresh air might help, he crawls outside, but as soon as he stands up, he tumbles over again. Accepting his fate, he decides to crawl the four blocks back home.

At his door, he attempts to stand but falls yet again, so he crawls through his front door and into his bedroom. Finally reaching his bed, he tries to pull himself up one last time, only to collapse straight onto the mattress, falling asleep instantly.

The next morning, he’s awakened by his wife standing over him, arms crossed. “Out drinking again, were you?”

Feigning innocence, he asks, “What makes you say that?”

She replies, “The pub called—you left your wheelchair there again.”