The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What’s your name?” he asked the new guy.
“John,” the new guy replied. The manager scowled: “Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
“I refer to my employees by their last name only; Smith, Jones, Baker. That’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed: “Darling. My name is John Darling”.
“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is…”
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you got.”
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said: “All right. Get in”.
Two friends were chatting. One pointed to a medal hanging around the other’s chest and asked: “What did you get that little medal for?”
The second friend said: “For singing in the camp talent show”.
“What did you get that big medal for?” the first said pointing to the other medal behind it.
“For stopping.”