Little Johnny was talking to his mum after school one day.
“Mum, my teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.”
“That’s nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?”
Little Johnny shrugged and said: “She just said, ‘Thank goodness!'”
A very wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.
“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.
“Your chances are better,” said the friend. “If you tell her you’re 90.”
A teenager was entering his senior year of high school. His father, a Baptist preacher, made a deal with him.
“Son, if you get straight A’s for the entire year, and if you cut off that long hippy hair, I will buy you the car of your choice when you graduate.”
The son accepted the challenge and worked very hard all year. He got the best grades of his life and graduated top of his class.
“Well, Dad. I held up my end of the bargain. Top of my class. I’ll take a Ford Mustang, red.”
The dad smiled and said: “Well done, son. Your grades are impressive. Now all you need to do is cut your hair and the car is yours.”
“But dad,” the son protested. “What’s wrong with my hair being long? You’re a preacher. Jesus even had long hair!”
“Yep,” said the dad. “And notice how he walked everywhere he went too.”