A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker.
“I win!” said Johnson.
Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!”
“How can you tell?” Phillips asked.
“Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”
A yuppie was sent a ransom note which said that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o’clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn’t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled: “What the hell took ya so long? You’re over two hours late”.
“Hey! Give me a break,” whined the yuppie. “I have a 27 handicap.”
At Sunday School the teachers were explaining how they believe that God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill, and asked: “Johnny what is the matter?”
Little Johnny responded: “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife!”