A junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains, but neither one could account for his trouble.
Arriving home from work one night, he informed her: “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago, and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”
An elderly, wealthy woman was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and on about her two remarkable grandchildren.
Unable to stand it any longer, a fellow sunbather interrupted her.
“Tell me, how old are your grandsons?”
The grandmother gave a grateful smile and replied: “Well, the doctor is four and the lawyer is six”.
An Australian entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman. “Where are you from, pal?” asked the Scotsman, after they had chatted for a while.
“I’m from the finest country in the whole wide world,” said the Australian.
“Are you?” said the other. “You have a damn funny accent for a Scotsman.”