A husband and wife were sitting in the living room enjoying a bottle of wine.
Out of the blue she said, “I love you.”
“Is that you or the wine talking?” the husband asked.
“It’s me,” said the wife. “Talking to the wine.”
———-
As a vintner was moving a cask of sparkling wine, he rolled his foot and injured his ankle. The pain was severe, so he decided to visit his orthopaedist. The doctor examined his foot and ankle, took X-rays, and ran MRI scans.
“Sir, I can’t find anything wrong with you. You can move your foot and ankle normally, and there’s nothing showing up on X-rays or MRI.”
“So you’re telling me I wasn’t actually injured when moving the sparkling wine?”
“That’s right, sir. It’s sham pain.”
———-
A young man named Benny was a real party animal. He lived for the good times of wine, women, and song. He wished he could continue his life style forever.
A genie suddenly appeared before him and made him the following wish: Benny would remain forever young if he would never shave. If he were ever to shave the genie would return and transform him into an urn.
For several hundred years Benny partied every night. Needless to say, Benny’s beard became quite long and cumbersome. After a while Benny thought that enough time had elapsed and the genie had certainly forgotten about the bargain. So one evening before heading off to another party, Benny shaved off his beard. Instantly the genie appeared and transformed into an urn.
The moral of this story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned…