A friend took her son to the doctor’s office after he sprained his finger. The nurse applied the splint, only to be told she’d put it on the wrong finger.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“That’s okay,” said the boy. “You were only off by one digit.”

———-

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer.

“All 40 accounted for.”

“But I only have 36 sheep,” said the farmer.

“I know,” said the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

———-

A scientist asks a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.”

“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.

The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never remember the name!”

———-

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

———-

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll have a beer.”

The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.”

The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.”

Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them.

“Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your limits.”