A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and the pair take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.

The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch, and asks: “So, how did you end up with the peg leg?”

The pirate replies: “We were in a storm at sea and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” says the sailor. “What about your hook?”

“Well,” replies the pirate, “while my men and I were plundering in the Middle East, I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft in the Middle East is the loss of the hand that steals.”

“Incredible!” remarks the sailor. “How did you get the eye patch?”

“A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replies the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asks incredulously.

“Well,” says the pirate, “it was my first day with the hook.”