A woman was struggling to get her tomatoes to ripen, so she sought advice from her neighbour.

Her neighbour suggested, “It’s simple! Just head out to your garden at midnight and dance around naked for a few minutes. Your tomatoes will be so embarrassed, they’ll turn bright red.”

That night, the woman did just that, dancing naked in her garden. The next morning, her neighbour popped over to check on the tomatoes.

“Did they turn red?” the neighbour asked.

“No,” the woman replied, “they’re still green, but I noticed the cucumbers have shot up by four inches!”