A guy goes into a bar. He’s sitting on the stool, enjoying his drink, when he hears: “You look great!” He looks around – there’s nobody near him. He hears the voice again: “No really, you look terrific.”

The guy looks around again. Nobody. He hears: “Is that a new shirt or something? Because you are absolutely glowing!” He then realises that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar.

“Hey,” the guy calls to the bartender. “What’s with the nuts?”

“Oh,” the bartender answers. “They’re complimentary.”