Michael McIntyre has a magical way of turning life’s most ordinary moments into laugh-out-loud comedy gold. From family chaos to awkward social encounters, the British funnyman captures the little things we all relate to – and makes them hilarious. If you love his high-energy storytelling, these five classic Michael McIntyre jokes will have you giggling, nodding and saying, “That is so true!”

“Posh hotels have a turn-down service. I had never heard of this. There was a knock at the door and a woman said, ‘I’ve come to turn down your bed.’ To which I said, ‘Well many women have in the past. Why should you be any different?’”

“I love doing bed time stories, but it must be tough for the royals. ‘And then the prince and the princess banqueted with all the kings of all the kingdoms, and they kissed on the lawn of the magnificent palace… the end. Anyway, enough about my day, what book are we going to read?’”

“Traffic’s a nightmare! That’s how people describe it, a nightmare. Has anyone had this nightmare? ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!’ ‘What is it, darling? Are you all right?’ ‘No, I’m not all right at all!’ ‘What was it?’ ‘TRAFFIC!!!’”

[On Valentine’s Day cards] “You have to come up with this s*** every year. Last week I just wrote, ‘I still love you, see last year’s card for full details…’”

“They tell you about the wind as well on the weather. Who cares about the wind? ‘Going to be a stiff north easterly breeze.’ I’m not sailing to work. I don’t give a s***.”