Many women spend decades looking after everyone else before they stop and ask themselves a simple question: when was the last time I put myself first?

That idea lies at the heart of Meredith Jaffe’s latest novel, The Importance of Being Delia, a funny, heartfelt story about one woman learning that it’s never too late to rediscover who she is beyond the many roles she’s spent a lifetime fulfilling.

Speaking with Starts at 60, Jaffe said Delia’s story came from a very personal place.

“First and foremost, because that is exactly how I was feeling at the time,” she said.

She noticed the same conversation happening everywhere she looked, with women talking about the relentless mental load of parenting, marriage, caring for ageing parents, work and trying to maintain friendships, all while being told they should also be exercising, eating well and making time for themselves.

Jaffe said she found herself questioning where her own identity fitted into the endless list of responsibilities.

“I might be super busy, I might even be super productive but who am I when I am not all these things to other people?”

She believes women are often raised to be people pleasers, rewarded for putting others first while simultaneously being expected to build meaningful careers and somehow juggle everything else life throws at them.

“Putting my own needs front and centre was a constant battle,” she said.

Those feelings became the foundation for Delia, a character many readers are likely to recognise in themselves.

Although Delia’s story is unique, Jaffe believes the novel feels relatable because it explores the many different paths women take through life. The women surrounding Delia each represent different possibilities, from those embracing newfound freedom to others still struggling with resentment, uncertainty or expectations that have followed them for decades.

The novel also explores the idea of reinvention, something Jaffe believes women have been doing throughout their lives.

“Our careers are often not linear. We might go back to study and change directions. We adapt to circumstances,” she said.

She also believes many women embrace new opportunities later in life, whether that’s travelling, learning a new skill, joining a book club or simply making time for themselves.

“When the opportunity to please ourselves finally presents itself, women seize it with both hands. Deprivation has made us hungry and if not now, when?”

Alongside its humour, The Importance of Being Delia explores the hidden stories people tell themselves and the ways childhood experiences can continue shaping adult lives.

“I think we all have a wound, usually received in childhood, that we grow around,” Jaffe said.

“It shapes who we become and how we see the world.”

As Delia uncovers long-held family secrets, she also begins questioning the beliefs she’s carried about herself since childhood and the choices those beliefs have influenced.

The title pays homage to Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, although Jaffe admits she only fully appreciated the parallels after revisiting the play.

“It was only as I was re-reading the play that I realised my subconscious had remembered there were parallels to the story I was trying to tell,” she said.

Like Wilde’s famous comedy, the novel explores identity, appearances and the roles people play while delivering plenty of memorable humour.

For Jaffe, one conversation between Delia and her lifelong friend Steph captures the emotional heart of the novel.

“It really explains why Delia became such a people pleaser,” she said.

Ultimately, Jaffe hopes readers finish the novel feeling uplifted.

“I wanted this story to be joyous and uplifting and thoroughly entertaining because spending time with Delia was my safe place,” she said.

While she’d love readers to feel inspired to reclaim a little more of their own lives, she believes simply carving out time to read is a meaningful act in itself.

“It would be wonderful if some readers felt inspired to take a leaf out of Delia’s book and tell the world to take a hike, it’s their time now,” she said. “But even the fact that they’ve snuck away for eight hours to read a book is an act of reclaiming life, isn’t it?”

The Importance of Being Delia by Meredith Jaffe is available now from HarperCollins.