Dining out doesn’t always go to plan – and sometimes that’s exactly where the laughs begin. From confused customers and impossible breakfast orders to cheeky wordplay that deserves a standing ovation, these five restaurant jokes serve up a full course of chuckles. Pull up a chair and dig in – no booking required.

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. “Good heavens,” he said, “What is this?” “Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. “I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. “What is it now?”

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called the head waiter to his table. “I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so overcooked, it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm.” “That’s a complicated order, Sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult to prepare.” The guest replied, “Oh? But that’s what I got yesterday!!”

Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time in ages. The Waiter said, “I am sorry but we are so busy tonight.” Would you mind waiting for a bit?” I said, “No problem.” He said, “Good, now take these drinks to table 7.”

What does an Australian chess player say when they go to a restaurant? “Check, mate.”

“Have I told you about the time I got kicked out of a Vietnamese restaurant? I left without paying so they had to Banh Mi.”