There’s something timeless about a good police joke. Maybe it’s the flashing lights, the awkward excuses, or the classic “Do you know why I pulled you over?” moment – the setup is always ripe for a clever twist.

If you’re in the mood for some light-hearted humour (strictly harmless, of course), here are five police jokes guaranteed to raise a smile.

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to an officer and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The officer said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.” The next-door neighbor protested, “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children. “The wife replied, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

A police officer responding to a gunshot call called his police chief. Officer – “We have an old lady here who shot her husband for walking on the floor after she just mopped it” Chief – “Have you arrested her?” Officer – “No, not yet. The floor’s still wet” 

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street. He approaches her and asks, “Are you OK?” The woman replies, “Yes, but how do I get to the hospital?” The officer says, “Just keep standing there.”