They may be famous for films, music, politics or television – but some celebrities also know how to deliver a cracking one-liner. From razor-sharp wit to delightfully dry humour, these 14 jokes from well-known personalities show that great comedy isn’t limited to stand-up stages.

Some are cheeky. Some are clever. And a few are so perfectly timed you can almost hear the audience laughter.

Ready for a smile? Let’s dive in.

“If I was an Olympic athlete, I’d rather come in last than win the silver medal. You win the gold, you feel good. You win the bronze, you think, ‘at least I got something.’ But you win that silver, that’s like, ‘Congratulations, you almost won! Of all the losers, you came in first! You’re the number one loser! No one lost ahead of you!’” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” – Frankie Boyle

“You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.” – Rob Beckett

“Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict. I hardly ever visit Syria.” – Alex Horne

“Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.” – Joe Lycett

“Two fish in a tank. One says: ‘How do you drive this thing?’” – Peter Kay

“I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!” – Stewart Francis

“People who like trance music are very persistent. They don’t techno for an answer.” – Joel Domes

“Normally you have news, weather and travel. But not on snow day. On a snow day, news is weather is travel.” – Michael McIntyre

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic, and so am I.” – Billy Connolly

“My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.” – Sarah Millican

“I was in my car driving back from work. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I said, ‘One minute I’m on the phone.’” – Alan Carr

“A man walks into a chemist’s and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’
The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’
And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.’” – Ronnie Barker

“Alright lads, a giant fly is attacking the police station. I’ve called the SWAT team!” – Greg Davies