I started writing for Starts at Sixty about four years ago. Sometimes the comments from other members were supporting, other times they were rather abrasive. There are always some rough with the smooth times. It comes with the territory.

One person wrote a lot of replies, her comments mattered, and we started writing longer conversations to each other. Heather then asked if she could be a friend on Facebook, so we were connected there. Before long we were sharing the things we really cared about Heather was a tireless warrior for Australia and all it means to us. I agreed with so much she cared about.  We also shared our more personal details, the things we had endured; or in her case was still battling. 

I will not go into her personal details as I respect her privacy, but she was in a very difficult domestic situation.  Like me she was well over seventy and I really tried to encourage her to make changes. Other friends did the same. I wanted her to have a happier existence.

Our personal chats were on private messages, so we felt safe telling each other things we did not make public. Heather was such a generous soul. She sent me mango chutney, and small things like a scarf or hankies. Her whole outlook was to help others. I sent her a birthday gift or two, and paintings I had done, and sent on books I had read. Heather was too far away for us to meet, but we talked on the telephone a few times.

We had both known hard times and lived through a childhood with a few troubles. I had TB when I first married and was living in New Zealand.  We dealt with it alone and did not tell our parents until years later. She had also dealt with many family dramas, and with her usual level headed outlook, and ‘down to earth’ approach helped her family as much as she could. She was the rock they relied on. She even helped a few people in other countries, I don’t know if she sent money but I know she supported a few lost souls in countries where they were persecuted.

We communicated almost every day for about three years. Then a few weeks ago I was in the car, in a very bad spot for connection to the telephone masts, we live in Gippsland and there are black spots. When a message came from her granddaughter, I went cold and kept saying, “No, No, that can’t be!” She sent a message saying “Nan passed away yesterday”.  I could not get back to her to confirm until many hours later when I was home. It was true. My dear friend had died suddenly. I felt like part of me had been cut away.

So for me the friend I got to know through Starts at Sixty was a big chunk of my life, and I miss her so, I still think she is there, somewhere in the computer waiting to send me a joke or piece about the political situation, and Heather I wish you were as like your family I am feeling so sad. On the plus side we both gained so much from a casual friendship I hope.

For the last year Heather lived in far north Queensland and had planned to have her own little unit.  She was more at peace and a lot happier living with her son.  I just wish she could have had longer and lived in the  unit she planned, so goodbye to my dear friend,  will look up to the sky and remember you. Thanks to Starts at Sixty for connecting us.