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‘It’s toast! Why our daily bread ritual is no more’

Nov 29, 2019
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Bring back bread! Source: Getty Images

Have you noticed how indulging in daily bread is out of fashion? It’s a carb and no one wants carbs these days more’s the pity!

At mealtime in our house there was always bread and butter on the table. In restaurants you got cute little curly pats of butter. If you were still hungry during or after a meal there it was. Lovely white bread. None of that fashionable stuff that wrecks your teeth. The latest fashion bread-wise is sourdough, which is great unless it’s been toasted and then it’s hard to cut and your teeth don’t thank you for it.

What if you wanted to mop up your gravy, whoops, ‘jus’ nowadays? Bread was there and handy. How do you do that now? Well you have to order the bread separately. It’s an extra along with the vegetables in some establishments.

Does the Lord’s Prayer need a rewrite then? I think so. Don’t give us our daily bread Lord because we’ll get fat!

I’m not too happy about how chips are treated these days either. You know those lovely crunchy fried chips? Now they’re likely to be suffering and soggy underneath a lump of meat. A tower of food is in the centre of a large plate, which has been propped up by someone’s hands so that it does not topple over and became a leaning tower.

What’s with food in little towers? By the time you deconstruct the whole thing it’s too late! The chips are inedible, very squashed and terminally soggy. I want my crunchy chips to be in a spot of their own and not underneath a lump of something dead. Preferably on the side.

My dad always complained if the food was not arranged separately on his plate and whinged much more if there was candlelight. “Can’t see what I’m eating,” he’d yell. I understand this point of view now.

I read recipes now and then and have come to the conclusion that if you can’t pronounce the ingredient it’s best not to eat it.

Anyone remember those home economic classes in high school? It was considered incredibly bad form to actually touch the food you were preparing. Now I watch cooks who are no doubt paid heaps and they’re mashing things around in the bowl with fingers. They’re straightening up those towers with their hands and patting them in place. Disgusting! Where are the implements for doing this hygienically? Nowhere to be seen. Not surprising that there are lots of cases of food poisoning.

Bring back bread!

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