A mother has threatened to cut her own son out of her will unless he promises to take care of his 42-year-old brother – including continuing the tasks she’s been doing herself, from defending him in court, to calling his ex girlfriends “hundreds of times” pleading with them to take him back.
Branding his sibling an “anti-social creep”, the man, 44, admitted on social media forum Reddit that he has nothing to do with him, and doesn’t even trust him to be around his own kids. However, he’s now facing losing out on up to $400,000 unless he lies to his dying mother, and tells her he’ll care for him.
Explaining how his adult brother became so dependant, he said he’d been doted on from childhood by their mum, leading to him being an “extreme manipulator, liar and all around anti-social person”. He said it got particularly bad after their father died, and added: “My mom and brother are one meltdown shy of Mama and Norman Bates.”
Listing a few examples of his mum’s doting behaviour, he said she forged letters of recommendation to get him into graduate school, defended him in court and to a police officer, paid for his car insurance since he graduated more than 20 years ago and even calls his exes “hundreds of times each” begging them to take him back after they’ve split.
“Last week my mom said that she needed me to continue to look out for and ‘take care of my brother’ when she passes away,” he wrote. Asking her what that included, and whether it would mean he continues the same tasks that she has been doing, she reportedly replied: “He would do it for you.”
His brother hasn’t reached out to him for 20 years, and pointing this out to his mum, he claims she believes it’s because he’s “scared of him”.
“My mom then said very directly ‘if you can’t or won’t take over for me when I pass then I have to leave my entire estate to him.’ I asked her if she was serious. She said yes,” he added. “I have no doubts that she’s serious. I could never, ever be involved with my brother, on my mom’s terms or otherwise because very basically he’s an anti-social creep who scares my wife and a person whom I’m afraid to have my kids around.”
He said there are only two options for him, either give up a chance at her inheritance, or lie to her but then dump his brother once she passes away.
The difficult scenario got a mixed response from other internet users, with many advising him to promise his mum he will “care” for his sibling – but then care for him in a ‘normal’ way, in whichever way he interprets it.
“There are many ways to interpret ‘taking care of your brother’. I recommend that you honestly say that you are going to take care of your brother and when your mother passes you take care of him by making him grow up,” one wrote. Another added: “I’d interpret it that you’re already doing it now, and you will continue to support his total independence and show you respect him as an adult who can make and cope with his own choices.”
Meanwhile, one wrote: “You’re not forced to lie to a dying woman and instead, are choosing to interpret it the way a normal, self-reliant adult would understand the request.”
However, another user insisted he should be honest, and wrote: “You can’t call it honest just because you added quotes and justify it with it being the type of care he actually needs. To be clear, I don’t agree or disagree with what you’re saying but I think it’s important to be truthful about the situation.”
And another user commented: ‘The trouble with this is that he already asked what she meant. She’s spelled it out for him and he’s unwilling to do so. Now the question isn’t about interpretation, its about whether he wants to con his way into her money via a sense of entitlement (deservedly so, perhaps), or be honest with her.”