A man was quietly reading his paper one morning when his wife crept up behind him and whacked him on the back of his head.

Shocked, the man asked: “What was that for?”

The wife replied: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary written on it?”

“Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Mary was the name of one of the horses I bet on,” the man answered.

The wife looked satisfied and apologised before giving him a kiss and walking away.

Three days later he was sitting in his chair reading once again when the wife returned. This time she slapped him across the face.

The man held his cheek and asked: “What was that for this time?”

The wife answered: “Your horse phoned.”