My neighbours are a funny bunch
They aren’t the sort you’d ask to lunch
I asked them once and they replied
“We ‘ll only eat what is deep fried”.
On one side there’s Steptoe and Son
Whose garden is second-to-none
Fronted by an odd kind of fence
That hides a jungle kind of dense
It’s made from old discarded doors,
Propped up with bits of timber floors
Steptoe is somewhat of a nutter
Riding cart with flag-aflutter
His son speaks with such dulcet tone
Mostly ocker, which makes me moan
The other side are Flo and Ben
Reminding me of flower-pot men
They speak another kind of lingo
And often take themselves to bingo
Their dress is smart, of that they’re cert
With trackkies and Ford fanatic’s shirt
Across the road are Lil’ ‘n Abner
Who’d two small kids before e’d marry ‘er
Up to her navel are skinny Lil’s shorts
While Abner wears clothes that follow sports
Behind me there’s a couple dark
With dingo dog and it does bark!
She’s as wide as he is narrow
With voice that can be heard in Batlow
Their kids don’t go to bed ‘til dawn
While Mum and Dad sit and watch porn
It’s good to live out in the sticks
With neighbours who’re as thick as bricks
Have you had some interesting neighbours like Penny?
image: beautifulcataya
