An elderly man calls his son who lives out of home and says: “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce, 45 years of misery is enough.”

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls her dad immediately, and says at the old man, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing!”

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says. “They’re coming for your birthday and paying their own fares. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?”