A concerned grandmother has turned to the online community seeking advice after expressing her reservations about babysitting all five of her son’s children at once.
The grandmother, who had a single child and faced a tough divorce, has found herself overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for multiple kids.
“I had one child and a nasty divorce and I never had the opportunity to have another child again. And honestly I never wanted one. My son was so active and as he grew up had tons of sports and such that kept us both very busy. When he would have sleepovers with friends I would find myself overwhelmed with the responsibility of more children,” she shared.
The concerned grandmother recently had a sit-down with her daughter-in-law and son, expressing her preference for taking care of one child at a time during sleepovers or special outings so as to not end up overwhelmed. She even offered to keep a notebook to ensure each child received the same attention. However, her daughter-in-law took offence, labelling it as playing favourites.
“This very much offended my daughter in law. She said it was playing favorites and that the sibling who got to leave with me would come back and make the others feel bad and that the kids wouldn’t understand. She pointed out that HER grandma had no problem taking all 12 of her family,” she explained.
When she pointed out that her daughter-in-law’s grandmother had multiple kids herself, the discussion abruptly ended with anger from her daughter-in-law and agreement from her son.
“Is she right? Am I being unfair to them and will hurt their feelings? The concept of siblings and how they think about each other is pretty foreign to me as my brother was 20 years older than me so I never grew up with him,” she said.
As the grandmother shared her concerns online, a wave of support flooded in from fellow users, all echoing a common sentiment – that burdening one person with the responsibility of all five grandchildren isn’t fair.
One user empathetically remarked, “You are not being unfair. Your DIL sounds disrespectful and rude towards you. Not everyone is the same and you are your own person and you decide what are you comfortable with. DIL should be grateful for your help in any form.”
Another user shared a practical perspective, saying, “You stated what works for you. Little kids are exhausting, especially for one old lady (speaking as an old lady).”
Delving into the fairness aspect, a user expressed, “It is completely fair to feel uncomfortable looking after more than 1-2 children at a time – especially without experiencing it previously. Taking one or two kids to do something they particularly enjoy is a great idea, as long as you spread it out fairly. I understand why your DIL would be fine with more children around, but it’s unfair to expect you to be the same.”
A voice of reason chimed in, stating, “It is absolutely reasonable for you to not want to be responsible for five children under the age of 10. Also, I would bet anything the kids will love getting one on one time with an adult they love.”
Amidst the support, a common sentiment emerged: the grandmother’s concern for providing each grandchild with individual attention and special bonding moments is both reasonable and admirable.