A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
As a child, I was forced to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.
Where does a horse go when it gets sick? To the horse-pital
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet It’s a good thing I’m married.
I asked my wife, “Do you think the cup is half full or half empty?” She said, “Please for the love of God, could you stop wearing my bras!”
I answered the door this morning. A 6ft beetle punched me in the face and called me a fat twat … Apparently there’s a nasty bug going round
What a day! The police came around and accused me of stealing my neighbours underwear … I nearly shit her pants!
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