Clean Living with Maggie May

Now then, my dear ones, if there is one thing I’ve learned in my many decades of battling dust, grease and the occasional unidentifiable sticky patch, it is this: the dishwasher is not just for plates. Oh no. It is a marvellous contraption, and if you use it wisely, it will save you hours of scrubbing while you sit down with a nice cup of tea instead.

Let us begin with those glass light shades, the little glass domes that sit over down-lights or light fittings. You don’t realise quite how grimy they are until you take one down and wonder if you’ve been living in a Victorian fog. Instead of fiddling about with soapy water in the sink, simply remove them carefully (turn the electricity off first, I’m old but I’m not reckless and I do realise I am living on borrowed time), place them securely on the top rack of the dishwasher if they fit (you may have to drop the top rack down a bit) and run a gentle cycle. They come out sparkling like they’ve seen the light – quite literally.

Next, oven exhaust fan filters. Now these are dreadful things, aren’t they? All that grease quietly building up while you innocently roast your Sunday lamb. Years ago, I used to stand at the sink with a brush and mutter darkly under my breath. No longer. Most metal mesh filters can go straight into the dishwasher. Pop them on the bottom rack, on a hotter cycle, and let the machine wage war on the grease for you. It’s deeply satisfying to open the door and see them restored to something approaching respectability.

And while we’re in the kitchen, do consider your soap dish. That poor, neglected little tray sits there collecting a revolting mixture of soap slime and water marks. Instead of scraping at it with your fingernails, which is both inelegant and ineffective, simply tuck it into the dishwasher. The same goes for toothbrush holders, sponge trays and those plastic sink caddies and dish dryer racks. They all benefit from a proper hot wash.

You may also add extractor fan covers, removable fridge shelves, and even sturdy plastic hairbrushes (remove the hair first, obviously, we’re cleaning, not performing miracles). I once placed my grimy gardening clogs in there, but that may have been pushing the boundaries of good sense. We live and learn.

A word of caution from someone who has made the mistakes so you needn’t: always check that items are dishwasher safe. Avoid delicate painted finishes, thin decorative glass, or anything wooden. Wood and dishwashers quarrel terribly and never reconcile.

The beauty of this method is not just cleanliness but efficiency. Instead of spending an afternoon elbow-deep in suds, you can load up all these forgotten bits and let the machine do its splendid whirring. It’s multitasking at its finest. While it runs, you may dust, read, telephone a friend, or, my personal preference – do absolutely nothing.

In truth, modern life is quite busy enough without us scrubbing things that a perfectly good appliance can manage. Work smarter, not harder, as they say. Though I suspect whoever first said that had never tried cleaning an oven manually.

So next time you glance about and spot something grubby, don’t sigh. Ask yourself: “Can I pop it in the dishwasher?” The answer, more often than you’d think, is a triumphant yes.

And that, my dear, is how one keeps a tidy home and one’s sanity intact.
Bidding you a fond farewell until next week’s column.