A grandmother at the end of her tether has taken to the online forum Gransnet to express her frustration over her extended family’s treatment of her and her home.
‘GrandmaGrim’ wrote, “My daughter, her husband and four children have had to move in with me and my husband, with compromise on both sides regarding space and privacy.
“My irritation comes from SIL’s [son-in-law’s] parents marching in and through my home to see their son or the grandchildren without so much as knocking or asking if it is okay! I find it rude and wouldn’t dream of treating their home in the same way.”
Fellow Gransnet users were quick to respond, with a few commenting, “lock your doors!” Another couple said that it was “bloody cheeky” and “rude” of the son-in-law’s parents, while one added, “Let people behave badly and they will.”
Meanwhile Gransnet user ‘NamsNanny’ made a suggestion, saying, “Do you have a shoes-off policy in the house? That could be your reasoning for suddenly locking the door … you’ve taken on a lot, from two in the house to eight!”
And another cheekily suggested, “Just mention to them, behind your hand maybe, that you and your DH [dear husband] sometimes have a bit of ‘slap and tickle’ on the sofa from time to time. This might put them off!”
While the comments were largely on GrandmaGrim’s side, a couple of Gransnet users tried to see it from the daughter and son-in-law’s side, with ‘Lolo81’ saying, “If D [daughter] and SIL [son-in-law] have been told to treat the place like home and that’s how they did things in their own home then I can see how it has happened.
“I’d be inclined to speak to D and SIL and ask them to address it. How often would you be comfortable with visits? How do you envision them happening, as in where would they sit, how long for etc. It’s not insane that they still want to see their GC [grandchildren] without the other GPs [grandparents] there — but the new living arrangements mean that everyone has to communicate comfort levels to avoid resentment.”
Another Gransnet user named ‘Amberone’ said, “People (family and friends) have always just wandered into my parents’ house, and we’re the same. If the door is locked they know we’re out – although sometimes it’s because we just want some peace and quiet. Maybe their family is the same and they don’t know it disturbs you. I would definitely talk to DD [dear daughter] and SIL [son-in-law].”