What Pisses Me Off: Finding things to be pissed off about

I am pissed off because I feel like writing a blog, but nothing is pissing me off. I suppose I really should be pissed off about the two houses that have been squeezed onto a small amount of land beside us. For many years it was just the old original farm house with the same amount of land as us. It has always been far from spectacular, but it had character and was one of the few reminders of what used to be. I even liked the lady that had been living there for the past seventeen years. Unfortunately, life got in her way the yard became too much, and she sold up and moved on.

The bloke that bought the property divided the land to the point of being ridiculous, the yards of both houses are now standing room only. The old place has two long plastic water tanks which is a good thing… but…they are leaning up against our already weak fence. It has been pouring rain for the past two days,  the tops of the water tanks are open, and now the fence has a very distinctive lean from the weight if it gives way I will end up with a smashed bedroom window. I should be pissed off about his blatant stupidity; surprisingly I’m not!. Once the tanks are gone they will have a direct view into my bedroom window; I will not be paying for any therapy they may need if I forget to shut the blind.

We also share the fence with the house that is being built behind them; the workmen have been using nail guns and the noisiest equipment they could find while barking instructions at each other since six each and every morning. That alone should be pissing me off; surprisingly It’s not!

I have actually found it interesting watching the house go up from a block of dirt. It has been arriving in sections on trucks. The way the workmen have been assembling it, I am constantly reminded of an Ikea flat pack, but it’s not flat and not from Ikea.

The house is still a shell and no more than 6 feet from the fence, it actually feels quite intrusive, between the three houses no one is going to have any privacy, and that should be pissing me off, but surprisingly it’s not!

If the occupants of either house think they will be able to sue me for damage to their retinas, I will say “Harden Up Powder Puffs”. I have no intention of changing my ways to accommodate their vision. Both neighbours will have a clear view of our backyard, and they will experience the pure delight of seeing me walking around the backyard in my cookie monster nightie swinging weights. They will hear me when I take my deaf, and demented little dog out into the backyard at regular nightly intervals chanting. . . . “Come on baby girl, do a wee wee for Mummy please do a wee, for heaven’s sake Blitz there are no treats for holding it in”.

The back house will be able to see directly into our kitchen; they are going to know what I am thinking about having for breakfast. Serenity now! I hope the occupants of both houses have a sense of humour and don’t get pissed off!

Are your neighbours a little too close for comfort? How do you get along with your neighbours?

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