What pisses me off: council acts, naked people and drunk fathers!

1. When we were kids we had the biggest “cracker night” bonfires in the paddock next to our house, all the

1. When we were kids we had the biggest “cracker night” bonfires in the paddock next to our house, all the families from the street would gather and all the kids had shoeboxes full of fireworks. The council were making the paddock off limits and on the night of the very last bonfire, sparks went into my shoebox, nobody else’s just mine, and they all went off at once, before the fun had even began…that memory still Pisses Me Off!

The Council started piling dirt in that same paddock with the grand plan to build a highway, they gradually took away a lot of fun for the neighbourhood kids, and in those days we had to find our own fun, so when the dirt became very high, we would slide down them on sheets of cardboard, the dirt hills quickly got covered in grass and it was all fun and laughter until we all ended up covered in ticks. Using a pair of tweezers and a bottle of metho, Mum pulled 45 out of me in one hit and that was the end of the grass slide. But whenever I am checking the dog, the tick incident always comes to mind, and It Pisses Me Off!

2. I remember when I was 8 years old, I was staying at my grandparents’ house and Nan sent me up to the shops to get 2 shillings worth of luncheon sausage. Naturally curious, I always looked over the bridge I had to cross, and this one time I looked straight into the eyes of a naked man. I was terrified and took off up to the shops because I knew if I went home empty-handed Nan would be Pissed Off! I am sure I broke speed records when I went back over that bridge, luckily I was on roller skates. It all comes to mind every time I see the man that did a similar thing to me 15 odd years ago. He jumped out of some scrub right in front of me and he was butt-naked, not even a pair of thongs or sunscreen! I didn’t carry a mobile phone back then and to top it off I had a bad leg so I couldn’t run. There was no one around and we were surrounded by bush. I was so Pissed Off but managed to keep a cool head and then… I unleashed my dog.

3. I remember going in the car with Dad every Friday night to the Rydalmere Shops to buy dinner. I had to sit on the swings in the park with hot fish and chips on my lap waiting for Dad to come out of the Pub. The fish and chips were always lukewarm by the time he came back. He would stagger into the Milk Bar to buy a Kooka Chocolate to try and appease Mum then, drive home drunk, no seat belts in those days. I used to sit quiet and pray, without fail he would hit the gate while trying to get in the driveway. Every Friday night it was the same scenario. He eventually had to take the gate off because it was so damaged…Problem Solved? Not bloody likely, he started running into the big shrub next to the gate. We always had cold fish and chips every Friday night, Mum was always Pissed Off with Dad for coming home as drunk as a skunk, it always set the tone for the weekends…Pissed Off? No not at all,I am just happy I managed to survive my childhood!

Did this make you laugh? Tell us, what pisses you off?

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  1. desleigh clarke  

    I could write all day about what pisses me off & the older I get the longer the list seems to be so I’ll just add my whining to the above list. Guy Fawkes night was SO much fun! We’d get some of Dad’s old clothes & stuff them with straw then a brown paper bag with a face on it for a head, sacrificed on the bonfire after dark. Then came the fireworks, so what if a few went astray, tom thumbs popping, sky rockets soaring, sparklers sparkling, it was THE MOST incredible time to be a kid, and along came Big Brother and that was the end of it forever. Unfortunately he’s still at it in so many other ways, now it’s political correctness instead, it’s always something, we’ll be scared to breathe next.

    • Sue Hayes  

      I so agree! We would buy our crackers for weeks before Cracker Nights to build our collections. Sometimes our naughty big brothers placed double bungers in letter boxes. My dad managed a trucking business and he would hang a couple of tyres on a line for us to use to ignite our personal crackers, the bonfire we built in our yard was contributed to by the whole neighbourhood which meant it was always too hot go near to light your crackers. All the neighbours came and we had picnic teas and drinks together in our back yard before dark. We were such lucky kids to have so much “dangerous” fun. It didn’t matter how much dirt we were covered in a family bath (we all shared one tub of water) at the end of the day would work wonders.Then we had intruders called “Big Brother” Dr Spock and “theories” on proper “safe” child-raising methods. That really pissed me off, the older I get the more it pisses me off.

    • CHristine Meehan  

      You brought back a few more memories,it was always so much fun from gathering the sticks and everything for the bonfire to the sparklers and skyrockets.Kids nowdays miss out on so much

      • Lexie  

        Yes, Christine, like all other kids’ growing-up when ‘Guy Fawkes Night’ happened, ‘remember, remember the fifth of November’, us neighbourhood kids’ collected sticks’, & old clothes’, by going around the suburb, calling out ‘Penny for the Guy’, & then proceeded set it up, usually at our place, as we’d a large, safe area for it to burn.
        My Dad was in charge, & no kid, was game enough NOT to do as he said!

        I was so ‘serious’ about ‘Cracker Night’, I’d write a ‘programme of order’ in which MY crackers’ would be lit!
        I distinctly remember going to Coles, with my hard-earned ‘pocket money’, to buy mine. The counters’ were covered in thick plastic for protection.

        Long Sparklers’, Jumping Jacks, Tom Thumbs, Catherine Wheels, Skyrockets (held in place by an empty glass pint milk bottle!), Roman Candles. Flower Pots!
        Ooh, it was just THE best ‘Night’ of the year!

        It was the subject of an episode of ‘Dr Blake’s Mysteries’, last season.
        Heard the FULL rhyme spoken!

  2. Truth 13  

    Australia has become a “Nanny” state. There’s nothing can be done for the enjoyment of young kids. Most councils are full of crooks. In NSW, in the Inner West, in Burwood, a General Manager was sent to jail for corruption. In Strathfield, a Mayor was sent to jail for bribery. In those councils, Ashfield&Concord councils has the number of voters around 32,000 to 36,000. All got General Managers, each is paid about $350,000 a year, when the PM of Australia, & the President of USA is paid only about $500,000 year. In addition there are various other Managers, Technical, Planning etc. all on good bloody money. What do they do. Nothing for the people on those councils, but they work very hard for the builders. In Strathfield, a builder was allowed to forward a bogus survey certificate on a land that is 215 Sq,M3, as 295 Sq.M3. According to the the council regulations, to build a house, there should be 460 sq.m3. But with the knowledge of the Mayor, the builder, who was a friend, was allowed to build a two story house. Roads are the same in the last 35 years, occasional filling up of pot holes are done, they put up on the round & odd shape “abouts”, the buses & cars have to go over them to turn right, where there are council members reside. They do anything and get away. Two hour parking posts have been put up everywhere, only to earn a quick buck. No seasonal clearance offered, like in the past. These councils are there only to employ certain type of ‘friends’, and pay bloody well to some useless people.

  3. Colin  

    What annoys me . People who say pixxxx me off . People who live in the past ( the article writer seriously needs counselling) and people who whinge about parking times .. Get out , use public transport or walk. Like I do

    • CHristine Meehan  

      Pisses Me Off is Australian Slang that has been around since day dot.It was chosen as a weekly article by Starts at 60,not me.I do not live in the past,it is merely an article meant to give people a bit of a laugh…you remember laughter don’t you?
      As far as me needing counselling,I couldn’t agree more,so Colin if you want to give me the $96 for the first session I will start, otherwise next time you see a What Pisses Me Off article,scroll past,no point Pissing yourself off Colin..Have a nice week.

      • Suzanne  

        Christine I think your article was funny – not cause my Dad was drunk but he was a petit mal epileptic and we drove with him!! Mum was dead at an early age, and we didn’t question, even when we were adults, to take Dad’s license – it was what it was! I even let my children go with him. Never occurred to me there could be an accident. Truly – perhaps we all need counselling!! Nah – it is life and I agree – it is a nanny state now and too much is given to children!!

  4. David AITKEN  

    STILL FULL OFCROOKS IN NSW …….nothing new there

    • CHristine Meehan  

      That is so true,todays children have no idea what real fun is.

  5. Elaine Omdahl  

    Love the memories!! Brought back my childhood, crackers in the paddock next to the house, the little village where I lived all turned out, as you say, shoe box filled with fireworks, they were going off in all directions! The local kids and a few fathers spent several weeks before the big night building a huge bonfire, every year it seemed bigger and hotter, today’s kids will never know the fun we had!!

  6. David Bruce  

    We lived in the bush as kids,ticks were common,we would swim in the creeks and always have at least one leech attached to us when we got out.We had to clear a paddock for the bonfires,and they were good fun and we lived to tell the tale.If a kid punched you at school,you punched back harder,things always had a way of sorting themselves out..I enjoyed your story.

  7. Dorothy  


    TV shows over the years’, & their ‘tokenism’!

    Firstly, it was having a Negro, then it became ‘fashionable’ to have ‘lead characters’, with ‘dysfunctional kids’, now it’s morphed to at least one character, usually the ‘brainiac research’ person, in a wheelchair!

    Gets me really angry, & in the second scenario, there’re just so many shows, usually ‘cop’ drama’s, that the featured ‘kids’ are right little pains in the b&//, precocious, & spoilt, that I’ve just stopped watching them!

    Although not of the above scenario, THE worst ‘child’ is ‘Nicky’, Erin Reagan’s ‘daughter’, in ‘Blue Bloods’! Her character contributes NOTHING to the show, she’s a right P i A, & for the life of me, I wish they’d ‘write her out’ of the show, by sending her to ‘Frisco, to be with her ‘tv dad’!

    • Bob M.  

      To Colin, Yeah she needs counseling all right, a good night out with everyone in the block at a Fire Cracker night. Would be the best remedy.

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