We laughed till we cried

John reminisces on one of the funniest moments of his entire life! Have a laugh as he remembers what happened when he was younger and working at a mechanics… 

Funny, isn’t it, how some memories are synonymous with mirth, even years later. The happening about which I write – all but sixty years on – certainly does.

I served my indentureship as an apprentice mechanic in the 1950s. My boss’s garage was located in the largest town in an isolated rural community. Apart from franchises for cars, tractors and farm machinery, my boss was the local agent for a major oil company. At the time, although I was tall and fit from an active country life, there wasn’t all that much of me. I was as skinny as a rake. That all changed, thanks to one of my duties. I developed shoulders.

I guess the work I did back then helped me maintain a pretty good figure through life. I still retain broad shoulders and a pretty good chest although, if I’m honest, at least some of my chest now seems more around navel line than nipple line.

Oh yes, back to the story. We had no loading ramp for the 44-gallon drums of oil and power kerosene the boss sold. Two of us stood beside the tray of the delivery truck, tipped every drum on its side, picked it up, then lifted it onto the tray of the truck. They weren’t exactly light, those drums, 200+ kg (up around 450 lbs), but we developed a knack; lifting them became an easy enough task.

One afternoon, a drum of diesel engine oil lying on its side, my mate Ben and I took an end each and lifted. As we did so – and you will understand it all had to do with the pressure of the situation – the dogs barked. A massive blast erupted from Ben. I don’t think I’ve ever heard better. Gosh, I reckon it would have registered better than 6.0 Richter! Oh, and if you think I’m being falsely modest or even obnoxiously nasty giving Ben credit for such a wonderful effort, there’s a reason. Just keep reading. You’ll understand.

We realised at that moment that the straight-laced Mrs Jones was walking by. She glowered at Ben. The two of us by then were like a couple of sheilas, giggling our heads off. The only problem was, we dropped the bloody drum!

Our loading area was on a side street with a bit of a slope. When we dropped the drum, it began to roll, quickly gaining energy and pace as it went. Still giggling, we made a couple of attempts to stop it but without any success. It got away from us, careening down and across the street. Passing Mrs Jones, with us in hot pursuit, it slammed into a fence and finally came to a stop.

My mate Ben was not renowned for his quick wit or his humour, but he managed the funniest one-liner I ever heard.

As Mrs Jones walked by, she glowered once more at Ben and said, “How dare you break wind before me, young man!”

To which Ben replied, “Sorry, Mrs Jones. I didn’t know you wanted to!”

Have you or a friend been caught out like this? Tell us your funny stories in the comments below…