Remember your vows

Do you remember your wedding vows? You know, honour, in sickness and health, richer or poorer. It doesn’t sound an awful lot does it, just five simple little words, but packed with important meaning, forming as they do the basic requirements for a happy marriage, part of a promise we make to each other, whether the marriage ceremony is religious or civil. How important they can prove to be too, especially as we age and become infirm.

The following of these vows sometimes requires very hard work on the part of both parties, bearing in mind that at the time of the marriage we still actually know very little about each other, and whatever happens next requires immense trust by both. It’s trust that has to be nurtured during the whole marriage. It is love that carries the load during those all-important early years, plus the knowledge of those five little words!

We have never been very wealthy, especially during the first few years of marriage like most other young couples, but nonetheless, we worked hard at making our relationship work, and more often than not, it can be the little things that act as the glue that ensures everything else functions. For instance, I’ve always enjoyed creating surprises for Jacqui, some quite small and unimportant, like bringing home a bunch of flowers, some pretty impressive, (though I do say so myself!), like the weekend I took her to Paris to celebrate our Silver Wedding. We had a wonderful time, spending money we could ill afford, going to famous places we had only read about and eating in genuine French restaurants.

For her part, Jacqui has looked after my every need for the fifty-eight years we have been married. She is a wonderful cook who often amazes me with surprise exotic dishes; my clothes are always beautifully clean, as is the house, and she made a superb job of bringing up our three lovely children, all now in their fifties and successful in their various fields.

None of these things are necessarily important in themselves, but each plays their part in fulfilling those vows! Now, in retirement, we still look after each other. Financially we’re back to much the state we were in when we first got married, so we have to be a little more careful now in the way we spend what we have.

 But we still enjoy ourselves; we simply aim a bit lower – instead of going away for two weeks in Bali, we make do with a few days in Lakes Entrance; and instead of going to an expensive restaurant in Melbourne, we are just as happy to eat in the bistro of our local pub, with the added advantage that we are amongst friends there too!! We also have our painting and writing to occupy us, both worthwhile occupations, which can sometimes bring in an occasional boost to our finances, even if our vision and steady hands do fail us a little. At least it is all helping to keep the old grey matter working properly

No doubt the time will come, all too soon, when one of us is no longer able to function adequately, but I am confident that whichever of us it is, the healthy one will look after the other. The most important thing I have learnt, in fifty-eight years, is that like almost anything else worthwhile in this world, a marriage has to be worked at in order to succeed! All too often these days, young couples come up against some small barrier to their continuing happiness and give up, instead of fighting for the continuance of their promises to each other regarding “Honour, Sickness, Health, Richer, and Poorer”!

How do you keep your marraige happy?  

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