Should you still wear your wedding ring after your partner has passed? 251

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I was with a friend recently when they discussed wedding rings and how secretly they wish they didn’t have to wear one. The subject turned to death and my friend wondered why her mother had kept her wedding ring on long after her father’s death, whereas her mother-in-law had taken it off straight after her husband’s funeral.

It led to a long discussion about rings and whether or not there’s etiquette and all we could decide was that it’s up to the person, but weren’t sure if society had another view on the topic.

Many websites offer varying opinions, with Life After Loss saying that “One of the significant questions, dilemmas and decisions a widow/er has to face is when to take off the wedding ring”.

The wedding ring is a symbol of commitment til death do you part, however does that mean that you have to show it through wearing the ring?

“Many widowed people still feel married long after the death of their spouse. Many still use the ‘we’ pronoun in conversations and reference. Moving on and dating can be the last thing on their mind.

Taking off the wedding ring can be difficult because it can be that dose of reality that your spouse is truly gone and the marriage is over. That dose of reality that you are alone. That dose of reality that you have to make it”.

Other suggestions of what to do with the ring includes:

  • Continue to wear it
  • Move the rings to your right hand
  • Turn into another piece of jewellery
  • Attach the rings to a chain and wear around your neck
  • Pass on to your children

We want to know about your experience today: When is the right time to take off the wedding ring and move on after the death of a loved one? Is there one?

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. Presuming that you mean ‘died’ It surely depends on how wedded you still feel.

    1 REPLY
    • I actually have rarely worn my ring in 35 years of marriage. My husband was shocked to see the ‘brand’ it left on my finger and asked to only wear it when I was wearing ‘dress-up’ jewellry.

  2. I would imagine whatever a person chooses to do in this circumstance would be the correct etiquette for them. It’s not for anyone else to decide.

  3. Ithink that is up to the widow if she wants to wear them or not. Mine are still the jelerew box hidden

  4. I believe it has to be based on how the bereaved person feels – it’s no-one else’s decision – personal choice for the person involved.

  5. My Mum died more than 10 years after Dad but never removed the ring in all that time and was buried wearing her wedding ring. I have actually stopped wearing my wedding ring this year due to an arthritic finger, otherwise I would still wear it.

    1 REPLY
  6. I choose to wear mine as it makes me feel close to him. I couldn’t bear to take it off as it would really make my grief worse.

    3 REPLY
  7. I have arthritis in my fingers now so They donot fit now

    1 REPLY
    • Did you know that it’s possible to have your rings hinged? A friend has had this done as she has arthritis in her hands, not sure how much it costs though.

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