Let’s talk: Some grandparents don’t like their grandkids

We’d all like to think blood is thicker than water, and that being a family means your love each other
Let's Talk

We’d all like to think blood is thicker than water, and that being a family means your love each other no matter what.

But what happens when you struggle to love some family members more than others?

Some grandparents have taken the bold step and admitted they don’t like any of their grandkids, while others have said they favour some grandchildren more than others.

As much as this information comes as a shock to many people, it turns out it’s actually surprisingly common.

Some grandparents say they find it easier to get along with grandchildren from one family, or that they have formed stronger bonds with their first-born grandchild and find it difficult to create the same relationship with those born after.

“I couldn’t respond well to my youngest granddaughter,” one grandmother posted on Gransnet, “especially as I have such a strong bond with her sister, who is five years older.”

One grandfather says adores one of his grandsons, Sam, who always liked tinkering around in ‘Grandpa’s workshop’.

Sam’s younger brother has never been interested in that though; he much prefers playing with computers. The boys are in their teens now, but the grandfather still has a much stronger bond with Sam.

“It’s not something I like to admit,” he says, “but I think the boys must know Sam is the favourite.”

These admissions have some grandparents admitting they feel the same way about their families, too.

It’s a touchy issue to say the least and one that has divided many families across the country.

We’d like to hear your thoughts on this issue…

Do you favour some of your grandchildren over others? Did you ever feel like you and your siblings were treated differently by your grandparents?

  1. I suppose it’s human not to LIKE someone even if they are a family member,but it’s really important to show LOVE towards your grandchildren. Being a grandparent only requires one qualification,and that is,suspending judgement and giving love. My in laws actively disliked one of my grandchildren and it was terribly hurtful to us as parents let alone the poor kid. The same has happened to the youngest grand daughter now by the other grandparents,and it started from the moment the child was born. Now if those feelings are there,for some reason,then I really think you have to try doubly hard and mask them,as it’s terribly damaging to the child and also to the fabric of the family.

    • Elenor  

      My sister had a blood t ransfusion in the 50s, one of the earliest. Her grandparents never accepted her as she didn’t have family blood. it caused a lot of angst all her life

      • That is applauling,a lot of people in that generation had some weird ideas about certain issues, and because of their igorance your sister was damaged by it so so sad

  2. Could it be that a dislike for a the son in law or daughter in law somehow influences our feelings towards a particular Grandchild? Do we imagine or indeed know that the child is showing some of the character traits that we dislike in the parent and does that influence our mindset? Could the parent that we dislike be influencing how the child feels towards his/her grandparents?
    I ask myself these questions often, yet try not to let the answers influence how I feel towards my grandchildren. I try to keep a level playing field and treat each as equal. Yet despite best intentions I do tend to have a favourite and In actual fact I am content that things are that way. I think maybe we all have a favourite. I was a favourite grandson to my Dads parents and my brother was the favourite of our Mums parents. It was not an issue back then and we didn’t suffer any adverse affects as far as I can tell.

  3. Discern between the WHO and the DO, love the ‘who’but not always what they do..

  4. Perhaps they are not very nice loving grand parents . Can’t ever imagine that .

  5. All my grandkids have had their day bad days. No one is perfect. Love is unconditional 💕

  6. Just because you are related by blood doesn’t mean you have to like someone.
    I don’t particularly like one of my daughters as she is nasty and self centered and thinks nithing of abusing and bullying anyone and everyone around her. I have one grandchild who I see regularly and get along with well. The other grand daughter I rarely see and although I send her birthday and xmas gifts I never even get a thankyou. I used to write to her and phone her but have now given up on that.
    I always remember that old saying;
    You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your relatives….

  7. I have 4 grandchildren and love them all but I love them all differently I cant imagine not loving them all even if there are times when I could throttle them

  8. My mother in law was a distant grandparent. She rarely interacted with my two children, except to criticise, when she spent several months with us. I always assumed it was because she saw a lot more of her other grandchildren. Who lived close to her. However when I was chatting to my sister in law once and mentioned her mother she told me that my mil had shown little interest in her children either.

  9. No! They are your grandchildren and deserve your love and attention. If you aren’t pleased with something talk about it. I love my grandchildren unconditionally and if they are having a moment I tell them I love them no matter what. Soon they will talk about what is wrong and the problem is resolved.

  10. I only have one adorable and much loved grandchild. I think this works both ways, kids are really perceptive and there is a good chance that they feel this and probably don’t like the grandparent too much either. Makes me a bit sad. 😢

  11. Grandchildren go through strange stages in their lives. We’re the adults and go with the flow. We show interest love and understanding, and safe place to fall. Each child brings their own personality.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *