You want to watch him! He’s a real womaniser, that one!

NB: It would require a prurient mind to take umbrage but the following article relates to sexual matters. 

If you are easily offended, far better you do not read.

“You want to watch him! He’s a real womaniser, that one!”

I’ve been called a number of things in my three-quarters of a century but that description yesterday is the first time I’ve ever heard it applied to me. Womaniser! Gigolo! Philanderer! Don Juan! Wow! Many a man might wish to be known as such but in this case it provided great mirth on a number of scores.

I thought you might like to know why I found humour in it…

Through most of my life, I have been sexually active. I realise there is and will always be a minority with a different perspective on the matter but the procreational act between man and woman is so exquisitely beautiful there is nothing within our ken to compare. Few ever want to try otherwise. Quod erat demonstrandum (even though, to most of you, I had nothing to prove!)

Point one: I have been married and widowed twice in my life. At 18, I met the girl who I fully expected to be my life companion. We were faithful to each other for our almost nine years, right up to the time of her untimely death. I was truly blessed once, then again when the Good Lord led me to the second girl I believed would be my companion for the rest of my days. We were wed 38 years until her also untimely death, during which time neither of us was ever tempted to stray.

A second point: Neither before nor between marriage did I play the field. It’s a delicate area so, suffice to say, between times I ‘knew’ (in terms of the Old Testament) a truly beautiful lady friend. We loved each other in every sense of the word but neither of us ever expected to marry. That very same lady, 40-odd years on, through and beyond that second marriage, remains a lovely friend but not a sexual partner. She found and married the man of her dreams.

Now for the third and most decisive point of the lot: As is the case with many men before me, prostate surgery took away ‘my manliness’, as another friend is wont to say. I am unable to gain an erection. There are a number of devices that can be adapted to provide a form of erection but none are of real interest. Oh, and medication won’t work.

It is 12 years since I had the operation, through most of which time my wife was ill, her health deteriorating. It is two years since her death and I have again been blessed, finding yet another fabulous lady. We will never have a live-in relationship but have and will maintain a sexual relationship. Again, because it’s sensitive and personal (with someone else involved) there will be no pack drill. Suffice to say we adapt and experiment – and are thrilled with progress. 

Oh, and none of this goes to disprove my demonstrandum early in the blog!

So there you have it. In all my years, I have ‘known’ the sum total of four women. I am fortunate in that I am tall and, despite a couple of run-ins with cancer and resultant operations, retain a pretty good figure. I know, too, the woman who made judgment, assumed, in her infinite wisdom, that as she has seen me talking with a number of women in our community, then…

Well, I need not spell it out!

So there, despite someone’s inaccurate summation of me, I assume Robbie Burns’ attitude towards sticks and stones. There is nothing malicious about it, so I – and, I should say, my lady friend to whom it was addressed – would rather laugh and allow it to pass than attempt to make something of another’s ignorance. It’s doing no harm and, well, I hope my relating it provides you with a smile, too!

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