You hear about kids being bullied, but what about parents being bullied by their kids? 72



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There have been some horrible true stories in books, on the web and TV about children being bullied and abused and the resulting effects of those actions. Well, it doesn’t matter if you are young or old – bullying can affect anyone. You can always find someone who has been touched by cruelty.

This is not a blog looking for judgment or criticism, it’s for people that have been hurt, touched and harmed by their adult children’s abuse.

Unless you are the target (for whatever reason, gender, age, size, etc.), you can’t possibly understand what a scar on your soul it is to be ridiculed and bullied. We are all born with love in our hearts, but some people forget this and strike out at others because of their own unhappiness. When you realise the target is you, it can last a lifetime. I found when there was a quiet time of no communication that melancholia would set in and I would start thinking of my daughter when she was a child and innocent…then the hit, boom, the familiar hurt came back.

However, over time, thinking and writing I came to realise that I have been a target of bullies in one-way or another most of my “married” life and as I said, still am. I have never thought bad about anyone, only that society has mislead a lot of people and the laws do not protect the innocent victims of crime. This is not because of my upbringing. My parents were loving and nurturing. But when I joined the police force, I never really trusted anyone outside my family because of this. I was always suspicious of people, thinking they had an alternative motive. But thinking back this was probably the overall beginning of the bullying within my families problems. By marrying a policeman who then bullied and controlled his family by mental abuse and violence, unthinkable at the time, but it happened. In retrospect I should have got out of the situation a long time before, but having three small children to look after as well, made it difficult to leave and made me take the brunt of the abuse and bullying.

Whether you are young or old, if you are being bullied you must talk to someone about it. However, sometimes talking to your friends or family for a long time with nothing changing, people get bored with you and don’t want to hear about it anymore. At times like this, you need to find someone with no attachment to you or your attacker.

After deciding to write this blog I realised I have been bumping against one bully after another all my life. Please don’t let this happen to you.

This is about ‘change’. Is it possible? How it happens? What’s next?

“Your life is what you think about yourself, not what others think of you”.

While writing and re-reading this blog it has made me realise I have never stood my ground against family problems and family bullies. This is something I still have to work on. When I think back to my marriage, the father of my children, abused and bullied me until I could take no more, and I was forced by him to leave with my children. Probably he gave me an easy out, as I could not do it without the push. Now I think it was God sent.

You can call me crazy, but I still have hope that someday my daughter will find happiness and peace. At least enough to perhaps not tell me she hates me and will let me see my grandkids again (they are the innocent parties in all this and love their Nana). I actually saw the grandkids a while ago when my middle daughter took me with her. We had to meet at the coffee shop as she didn’t want me going to her house. My granddaughter who just turned 4 years old would not hug or talk to me (which was unusual as I had her most of the time till she was about two years old). Whatever my daughter said to her has affected my granddaughter; this is also a kind of child abuse. My daughter never spoke to me at all and when she opened presents for my two grandkids she stated it was more crap. That was the last straw, the door is now closed. She has tried to bully everyone else in our family as well. Remember, a bully is an unhappy person looking for a victim to punish.

Don’t let them bully you, even if they are family. Sometimes you just have to close the door. That is what I have forced myself to do. Yes, at times as I said before, I slip and feel love for her, but then the call or e-mail comes (usually asking me for money) and I go back to this blog and realise I need to close the door once again for protection. (At this time I am no longer answering any calls or emails)

I have two other older daughters, the eldest one who has put the bullying of their sister out of her life, the middle one only sees her for the sake of her children, and now with a wonderful partner that I have had for over 18 years I have to do the same. Who knows what will happen down the track, but now I am able to speak about it in this blog, I will be able to go forward with my life.

We can’t change the past but we can look to the future.

Just remember that God is our saviour. Things are here to try us and if we love and believe in God then all will be well in our future, regardless of our past experiences, failures and disappointments.

Remember God loves you and his love for you is unconditional.

Tell us, is this similar to your story? Have you had to forgive someone who treated you badly so you could move forward?


This writer has chosen to remain anonymous.

  1. Alienation and shunning is a form of abuse and hurts so much.

    2 REPLY
    • Our son does this to us and we have not seen our granddaughter since just before Christmas. I feel for you if this is the way you are treated also.

    • actually TRUITH alienation is the worst its call being sent to coventry and had broken many aspirit especially men in the armed forces`

  2. about time someone woke up. untill you get respect what do you expect bloody do good expersts know every damn thing

  3. Ive been alienated from my daughter and grandson. Due to her new partner, he is very controlling in a underhand way. Nothing is said directly but he uses my daughter.

  4. I find its done as a sort of manipulation. I don’t think they even realise sometimes how hurtful it is.

  5. I actually find my 80 year old mother very manipulitive to the point of bullying and she always has been, there is not a relation left that will have anything to do with her, she is now very lonely. She will admit that her personality is ‘a bit abrasive’ but she will not do anything to retify the situation and seems oblivious to all the hurt she has caused over the years as still does.

  6. Yes.
    My sister tried to bully our mother into giving her thousands of dollars. Mum stood up for herself and now my sister doesn’t talk to her. But that is fine as my mum no longer has to put up with her nastiness.
    My daughter did it to me for years. A few months ago I finally stood up to her. We no longer speak but I am much happier knowing that I no longer have to fear her verbal abuse and continual false accusations.
    I believe it happens to all of us at one time or another.
    It’s our reaction that matters. We can let it happen and continue to suffer or we can stand up for our self preservation.

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