What pisses me off: My family is too protective 5



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Not sure that I can say that I really get ’pissed off’ about much, but at present I am having moments. My ‘baby’ son – aged 46, has decided to come home after 10 years overseas. He has told everybody that he feels it is time to come home to look after his mother! The strange thing is that I am busier than I have been for years and I feel wonderful. However when I could have done with some tender loving care, following my husband’s death, I have never felt so alone in my life. I had to cope with my step daughter having the love of my life cremated without my knowledge – while I thought we would do this together – and I only found out when someone saw it on Facebook. I actually fell apart for a time and each member of my family was either overseas or otherwise engaged.

One morning a friend had called my daughter to urge me to see a doctor. I didn’t feel the need but I rang and made an appointment and was really surprised when I was told I could come straight away. The lovely receptionist put me in a little room and gave me a cup of tea. When I rang and recounted my experience to my daughter she blithely said, “Did it have padded walls?” Even to this day she and my grandchildren still think this is funny and their time line is, “Remember the time before you went nuts …” I guess one day they may understand.

Now that I am in a good space they of course want to be around me. I have an admirer that visits from down South and he is getting a cold reception from my suddenly protective son. Really!

Phew! That feels better – I’m so glad I’m not ‘nuts’ any more and I am glad that I have a family that loves me… but I still feel a bit ‘pissed off’ now my life is so wonderful, they want to look after me. Sorry, I am on my way out the door with a date who will wine and dine me and make me feel young again.


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Lyn Traill

Lyn Traill is a very late bloomer and is grateful to feel she is being more productive now than at any other time in her life. Whilst still involved in corporate consulting, her real passions are writing and speaking. She has had a number of educational books published but ‘Sizzling at Seventy – victim to victorious’ was her first book for adults. Lyn’s mantra is that it is never too late to find your ‘fabulous’. www.traillblaze.com

  1. Good for you Lyn. I am so sorry that you had such an awful time after your husband’s death, but so glad you are now doing what you feel happy with, and being wined and dined is fantastic. I am lucky that my 3 daughters care so much for me but accept I have my own interests. I have sleepovers with them and am treated like a Queen when there, but if I just want to stay home and veg out that is fine by them. Loved your post and wish you happiness.

  2. Good for Lyn- go on with your life. Children can be self centred. They are both a blessing at times, and a curse at others.

  3. Our kids need to leave us to live our own lives as we allow them the same freedom. Family is important but we should be allowed to make our own decisions about who lives in our homes. I expect you son will be happy if you cook and clean for him not to mention cheap lodgings.

  4. Your right Lynn but they probably don’t even realise what they are doing. It would be worse if they didn’t care about you, we here about this so often. My own grown up sons are a bit adhoc on my welfare, think sometimes it’s when they have a bit of time on their hands they will be there trying to organize me, but I just put it down to the fact they are males. Probably a bit sexist to say that, but it also suits me to think that. Just live my life on my terms now(except when I am minding their kids) we do what we do!

  5. Well Lynn, you tell that grown son of yours that he will need to find his own accommodation when he arrives back in Australia as you don’t want anyone underfoot in your home. Tell him when you are wined and dined you might want to bring the lovely man home with you and it wouldn’t suit if he was living there. I think he is just looking for free rent and someone to cook and clean for him. Don’t do it.
    Have your children for a meal each fortnight and get on with your life and make arrangements to go into a care home when you feel you need looking after. You know if a ” carer” lives with you for 2 years before you go into a nursing home you don’t have to sell your house to pay the entry fee which leaves the property for the inheritance. He might be looking to inherit as the longer he lives there the more chance he has of inheriting the majority or all of the property. Be independent , get on with your life and develop your relationship with your southern admirer.

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