What pisses me off: Grooming, noises, germs, Pete Evans and presents

Christine is up to her usual tricks and has shared another list of gripes with us. Do you share any with her?

1. The maintenance I have to do on myself as I age is ridiculous: knee supports, wrist supports, ankle supports, elbow supports, eye drops, wrinkle creams, hair dyes to cover the greys, steam treatments to help my ear problems, waxing, plucking, massaging, glasses, hearing aids, medications for this that and the other. Whoever said 60 is the new 40 is an idiot. By the time I am ready to start the day, it’s time to go back to bed and it pisses me off!

2. This morning I was woken up just before 7am by one of the local council’s very noisy tractor mowers. If I started my mower at that time of day I am sure the neighbours would be up in arms reporting me to the Powers That Be and I would certainly get a fine. It appears there are two different laws in play: one for the council and one for the people and that pisses me off!

3. Having recently conquered the flu, the germ factor is always on my mind and a big one for me is my debit card. It has a pretty disgusting life being swiped through all those different machines, most of them are nothing more than bacteria traps, then having to press the filthy buttons to put your numbers in, I realize I could carry money but that is also filthy. As you can see I have quite the dilemma and I am very torn and the constant confusion of what to do pisses me off!

4. Since Pete Evans started spruiking the Paleo way of life, I find him quite painful, actually one could say he pisses me off! He doesn’t look healthy – he is way too skinny – and looks like he would crack a rib if he sneezed. He needs to throw the bone broth out the window and make himself a milkshake. I was watching his interview with Mike Willesee on Sunday Night. Mike took the 10 week paleo challenge and he is saying how great he feels, well of course you do Mike it’s not rocket science: you stopped drinking all that Coke! If anybody tried to replace my morning coffee with bone broth, I would very quickly put that cup where the sun don’t shine taking them from a bass singer to a soprano in about 5 seconds flat. Bone broth – ugh!

5. The grandies’ birthdays are coming up – they are 4 years apart and their birthdays are 4 days apart. I use to have a bit of a knack for getting both of them the right presents, I would look at it as a challenge. I always agreed to what they wanted but then I would buy something totally different so they got a surprise – I could tell by the big smiles on their little faces that I got it right, except for one year I bought the granddaughter a zombie doll off the internet. I thought it was cool because at that particular time she liked to pretend she was a four-year-old Zombie. Boy oh boy that doll did not go down well at all, it must have looked a bit “too real” because it scared the hell out of her. She beat it to death then threw it over the back fence. On their upcoming birthdays they are going to be 6 and 10 years old and all they are interested in is their iPads, so that pretty much narrows my ideas down to an tTunes Card. How boring for me. Technology has taken all my fun away and it pisses me off!

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