What pisses me off: council acts, naked people and drunk fathers!

1. When we were kids we had the biggest “cracker night” bonfires in the paddock next to our house, all the families from the street would gather and all the kids had shoeboxes full of fireworks. The council were making the paddock off limits and on the night of the very last bonfire, sparks went into my shoebox, nobody else’s just mine, and they all went off at once, before the fun had even began…that memory still Pisses Me Off!

The Council started piling dirt in that same paddock with the grand plan to build a highway, they gradually took away a lot of fun for the neighbourhood kids, and in those days we had to find our own fun, so when the dirt became very high, we would slide down them on sheets of cardboard, the dirt hills quickly got covered in grass and it was all fun and laughter until we all ended up covered in ticks. Using a pair of tweezers and a bottle of metho, Mum pulled 45 out of me in one hit and that was the end of the grass slide. But whenever I am checking the dog, the tick incident always comes to mind, and It Pisses Me Off!

2. I remember when I was 8 years old, I was staying at my grandparents’ house and Nan sent me up to the shops to get 2 shillings worth of luncheon sausage. Naturally curious, I always looked over the bridge I had to cross, and this one time I looked straight into the eyes of a naked man. I was terrified and took off up to the shops because I knew if I went home empty-handed Nan would be Pissed Off! I am sure I broke speed records when I went back over that bridge, luckily I was on roller skates. It all comes to mind every time I see the man that did a similar thing to me 15 odd years ago. He jumped out of some scrub right in front of me and he was butt-naked, not even a pair of thongs or sunscreen! I didn’t carry a mobile phone back then and to top it off I had a bad leg so I couldn’t run. There was no one around and we were surrounded by bush. I was so Pissed Off but managed to keep a cool head and then… I unleashed my dog.

3. I remember going in the car with Dad every Friday night to the Rydalmere Shops to buy dinner. I had to sit on the swings in the park with hot fish and chips on my lap waiting for Dad to come out of the Pub. The fish and chips were always lukewarm by the time he came back. He would stagger into the Milk Bar to buy a Kooka Chocolate to try and appease Mum then, drive home drunk, no seat belts in those days. I used to sit quiet and pray, without fail he would hit the gate while trying to get in the driveway. Every Friday night it was the same scenario. He eventually had to take the gate off because it was so damaged…Problem Solved? Not bloody likely, he started running into the big shrub next to the gate. We always had cold fish and chips every Friday night, Mum was always Pissed Off with Dad for coming home as drunk as a skunk, it always set the tone for the weekends…Pissed Off? No not at all,I am just happy I managed to survive my childhood!

Did this make you laugh? Tell us, what pisses you off?

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