What pisses me off: Cotton avocados, fussy cats and tailgaters 7



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Before I even put finger to keypad, may I remind you that What Pisses Me Off is a blog status designed by the wise people at Starts at 60, to entertain us. It’s a place where a well-meaning gripe can hopefully bring a smile to your dial. As the writer, I do not expect or even want you to solve my dilemmas. They are just a commentary on life. I will solve or endure them myself thank you.

As for the word ‘piss’ if you cant take it, or want to complain, just scroll past to the next post.

‘What pisses me off’ is common Australian vernacular for the things that irritate us. It’s very much part of our everyday speak, not meant to offend and just as much part of our heritage as ‘struth’, ‘b******r me’, ‘hells teeth’, ‘blimey’ and more.

So, WPMO this week is avocados. Two for $4. Okay. I choose using the visual guide the supermarket has kindly put up for choosing the perfect state of ripeness. I get them home and make my salad. All ready to go and waiting for the crowning glory. I open it up in eager anticipation and I’m ready to go, only to be met by the sight of a greying, stringy bit of avocado flesh with a few fingermarks as indentations as well. Mostly it is inedible. I was looking forward to it, and it was a waste of money. It really pisses me off.

I have an elderly cat called Grace. I love her very much and she has been my companion for more than 15 years. We rub along well together. She is my knee warmer, my door greeter, my dawn chorus and my keyboard companion. She will sit on my computer keyboard when I am writing, and walk in front of the screen when I am busy reading. But, and she does have a big butt, she has become a very fussy eater.

She has human standard tins of tuna, but only tuna in spring water. Tuna in oil will not meet her exacting standards. I buy her little pouches of meat and she usually likes these, but lately she gives it a cold and disdainful stare and walks away with a condescending twitch of her tail.

That would be fine if she could cope with being hungry, but she will meow, whine and wail until I find her something that appeals more to her fussy palate. If I don’t she will hide around a corner and bite my leg as I walk past — usually when I am up for my 3am visit to the loo. Those scratches hurt and this really does piss me off.

And tailgaters. Tailgaters really piss me off. I realise that if you have pink frangipani decals on your car and a P plate and you are a female, then you are entitled to go 10km/h over the speed limit and talk on your phone.

I realise you are a supernatural being who will not die, but I am doing my best to stay alive for another two decades or so, as I have a few things I want to do before I go to heaven, so please do not tailgate me.

If you are a young man in a ute or huge four-wheel drive and you have P plates, please do not menace this older lady in the little blue car. I am doing the speed limit. I want to live. I do not need you hurrying me along with your massive big bull bar and LED lights in my back windscreen. We will all get there. I am not in a hurry to die, and if you run into me, I don’t think your insurance will even cover the damage — that is if you even have any.

The speed limit is there for a reason. To keep us safe on the road. Your parents would rather you were alive than dead. Tailgaters really piss me off.

I’m interested in what little gripes really piss you off. Instead of having a go at me, get them off your chest and give us all a laugh.

What things cause you to get upset or irate? Share your thoughts with us.

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Karen Jones

Born in New Zealand, Karen now happily lives in the mid-north coast of New South Wales. She retired early due to ill health and now focuses on her love of walking, writing, reading and spending time with her grandchildren. With a degree in writing, Karen became a blogger and book reviewer for Starts at 60, which has enabled her passions to become enjoyable pastimes. Her recipe for bliss is a well made flat white, a friendly cat and a sea view.

  1. There is nothing more irritating than buying a glossy beckoning expensive avocado – and finding it brown and stringy inside. Just once in my life have I been out of my state of QLD. A 3 week holiday in Adelaide (albeit with a 15 month old and a 33 month old) and life is not particularly better than living in my own home town. Except for a Greek restaurant with a garlic prawn and avocado entree. It was memorable. Bugger the main meal, I ate 3 of the entrees. I still yearn for the taste of it 34 years later. So I try to make my own and get the garlic and the prawn and the avocado to be tasted equally in each mouthful. I believe it is the avocado that lets the side down every time.
    OK OK sometimes there really is too much garlic.
    As for cats. I have had a long long line of them. None that I have chosen. All have been strays who have recognized my “here’s a sucker” look. I buy Coles tuna in springwater. 80c per can. They gobble it up so I buy 10 ton of it – and their tastes change the next day. I buy Dine Beef and Liver – 7 in a box. they meow and whine if I run out but when I have ample quantities of it – they don’t want it. They love chicken – so I bought 2 bags of frozen chicken pieces – what we humans eat when we buy a chicken salad roll. Loved it for two days…..It’s OK as least I can eat this chicken in a sandwich.
    As for tailgters…
    My sister in law had one run into her. Then he said it was her fault. Like as if she was travelling along the highway in reverse gear? Tailgaters have an extraordinary opinion of their driving abilities. They have no conception of the braking power of the car in front.

    1 REPLY
    • Could not agree more on the tailgaters but I find that they are far too often women in blif black SUV;s wearing bog sunglasses and talking either to themselves or on speaker phones!!.

  2. Oh! Karen, thank you for the laughs in your above story. Especially about ‘Grace’. As a ‘cat person’, I can REALLY empathise. Mine’s a Royal Sacred SP Siamese. He sometimes takes his ‘royalty’ tag a tad TOO far. Lol!


    Businesses’ which don’t accept our LEGAL tender of $50, or $100 notes.
    I’m not talking for an item for.$2.50, but Carparking Stations, & bus drivers’.

    I do understand that machines’ at which you can buy a soft drink, or rail ticket would be restricted in the space they have for change.

    And don’t give me excuses’, like, ‘it’s not safe to carry enough change’, ‘it wastes time giving out the change’.

    Hello! You’re in BUSINESS, it’s your JOB to ensure you’ve change for ANY monies’ manufactured at the Australian Government Mint, in Canberra.

    On similar topic, businesses’ who don’t (a) accept certain Credit Card types’, or (b) do so, but slug the customer with whopping fees’! You want the sales, but not the means’ of paying for it?
    Again, you’re a BUSINESS, & cc’s are part of doing business! Suck it up!

  3. When buying avocados always hang on to you docket.

    If inedible return for a refund or replacement.

  4. I’m glad you cave in to your cat’s foibles. My cat pisses me off for nearly the same reason and what’s more attacks me when she can’t get her own way.. Another thing that pisses me off is someone in a public place talking at volume on their phone . I do not want to hear the intimate details of their love life of some other crisis in their lives. I have enough to deal with without sharing theirs. What is it with people?

  5. Just thought of another one regarding avocados. Why must they be 3 for $5 ? I live by myself and one lasts me several days. I have the choice of buying 1 at an increased price or waste them when they go off.

  6. WPMO?

    You go to a supposedly silver-service Restaurant, & as you’re handed the Menu, your waitsperson announces…….
    ‘The oysters’ are off’ (pun intended!)

    ‘We’ve run out of prawns’.

    AND this is only 30 minutes’ after said eatery has opened for the day!

    Somebody’s NOT doing their job properly, for this to happen.

    If 100 people booked, you could guarantee at least 25% would order Seafood.

    I attend a particular Restaurant frequently, before Concerts, Recitals, etc. & it’s now at the stage, they automatically put aside a serving of Oysters’ for me, as I’ll ALWAYS order them!

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