“We live in a world of possibilities”. I heard these words last week on a webinar from a man whose work has influenced me for a number of years. He did not elaborate on what the possibilities might be, but inferred that possibilities are open to everyone. I can imagine that statement alone could set a cat among the pigeons! (Is that saying still used?)
The title of the webinar was: ”Useful moods for difficult times”. In my coaching practice I have found ‘moods’ to be an important component in assisting us to cope with whatever life throws at us. When I first became acquainted with the particular coaching practice I now use, it certainly helped me to be a better observer of my behaviour which consequently changed my whole life.
The practice describes our way of being as having three main components: language which creates our reality; our moods which affect the way we will act; and the third component involves the part mood plays in affecting our body. All of these influence our behaviour.
The moods highlighted in the webinar were firstly those that interfere with us being able to realise our possibilities. The first one mentioned was the mood of anxiety or fear. If we live in fear, the world is always a dangerous place and we block ourselves from possibilities that could enrich our lives.
My father was a very fearful man, which always surprised me as he was a lay preacher who would espouse a doctrine of faith from the pulpit and yet in his own life did not take the necessary risks that could have enriched his existence and certainly did not realise possibilities. Whilst some of the risks I have taken did not bring me the outcome I desired, I have been richly rewarded for not allowing fear to stop me making the most of possibilities.
However – the next two negative moods have been a completely different matter for me and they have often stopped me from making the most of possibilities. Resignation – a very sneaky mood that threatens to stop us in our tracks. ‘This always happens to me’; ‘I’m not good enough …’; ‘Good things happen to everybody else…’ I remember hearing a dynamic young speaker give a stirring speech which admonished us to not let this sneaky mood stop us by saying, “I’d like to do more BUT…” I loved it when he said, “Don’t let the conjunction stop your function.” I quoted this to my grandson but it fell flat as he had no idea what a conjunction was. I hadn’t realised how often that hidden ‘but’ crept into my decision making.
Another very destructive mood is that of resentment. This one comes about when we negatively hang onto things we cannot change. It took me a while to realise how I was hanging onto some resentment about things I couldn’t change and learn to move on in a positive way of being.
Perry Cross is a very special man who inspires everyone who meets him. He is a quadriplegic, only being able to move his head and permanently confined to a wheelchair. He has the biggest smile and manages to do so much to help others. It is worth looking at his web site. His motto is, “Everything is possible.”
The positive moods offered in the webinar that assist us to be open to possibilities are: Gratitude; Enterprise and what he called Radical Hope – maybe I would call it trust.
Life is a mystery and we cannot predict what possibilities may be thrown our way so Fernandos says we need to be ready to navigate through and we prepare ourselves by being aware of how our moods block us. This really resonated with me as I had allowed resentment and resignation to sabotage my right to a meaningful life.
The media describes people my age as not just being elderly – we are considered ‘old’ so I acknowledge my possibilities are different to what they may once have been. I am never going to be a ballet dancer or an opera singer but since I have become open to possibilities, I am blown away by just how many come my way and I feel I have nothing to lose. I’m so grateful for those who have pointed me in a more positive direction.