To go or not to go: calling a toilet, a toilet 44



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This is about the shortest piece I’’ve ever written for Starts at Sixty, but it’’s something that needs to be said, nonetheless! It’’s something that really pisses me off. Ironically a rather appropriate phrase under the circumstances, most of the blame falling to parts of the media and the Americans!

Hey everyone, it’’s a toilet, a lavatory, a WC; it’s not a “bathroom”! Have you ever seen one with a bath in the corner of the room? Nor is it a “restroom” for the same reason, after all, who would want to lounge about in one of those places, on a comfortable leather chair, reading National Geographic, the air heavy with the perfume of antiseptic or air freshener (if you’’re lucky!).

The silly thing is, it must be the most frequently used room, anywhere, private or public. We all use one at least once a day to perform perfectly normal and natural bodily functions, without which we could not survive for more than a few days. The Queen uses one, Tony Abbott uses one, I use one and I’’d bet big money that pretty well every person reading this article uses one, so why are we all so coy about it?

I’’ve had American tourists come up to me in Melbourne to ask if I can direct them to the nearest ‘bathroom’, so I send them to the public swimming baths at the top of town.– I imagine they’’d find the service they require there, but with the added advantage that they can go for a swim too, should they wish to.

So, there you have it, let’’s start a movement that ‘calls a spade a spade’ when it comes to going where we need to go each day! Let’’s stop being so shy, let’’s be leaders in a new way of life, where it’’s not rude to ‘go’, any more than applying an under arm deodorant is.

And with that grizzle out of my system, I’’m off to the ‘loo’ now, newspaper in hand; ready for a little quiet meditation!

See you later!

Do you agree with Brian? Do you think we should all call a toilet a toilet? What do you call it? Tell us below!

Brian Lee

  1. like, I don’t need the ‘bathroom’ I need a toilet, then the bathroom to wash my hands. but of course many have toilets in the bathroom, where they bath, shower, wash hands and clean their teeth, right beside the toilet!!!

  2. Let me tell you Brian that it was certainly a REST room for me when I did the Bridge to Brisbane this year (Smiley Face) 🙂

  3. Yes I do agree with Brian and it brings to mind another strange phenomenon… !
    When we ourselves are doing it, we are are ‘making love’
    but when someone else is doing they are ….
    screwing, f***ing ,having sex , copulating ?? beast with two backs ?? and any number of other
    ways we have of saying the same thing….
    What do any of you think we call it ?

    4 REPLY
    • Tracy, making love, particular sentiments and tenderness expressed at times of intimacy, as opposed to recreational sex or just a good old root in a ute, glad there is room for both lol.

    • I think the funniest description of this phenomenon is “Sleeping Together”. Surely that is the ONE thing you don’t do!

  4. I’m with you on this one Brian, I really dislike restroom and bathroom being used for dunno, loo, lab, toilet, damn Americanos!

  5. Totally and utterly agree. By all means, let them do what they want at home. We on the other hand, may send them in the wrong direction if we misunderstand their question. HEE HEE.

  6. Totally agree! My other pet hate is saying someone has passed! Passed what-the end of the road, another car, their exams. They have died!!!! Saying they have passed doesn’t soften the blow. They have died so just say it as it is!

    1 REPLY
    • And the other way of saying someone has died…”We’ve LOST her”…how can they have been so careless??…are they going to send out a search party to look for her??!!!

  7. Lol, yeah I like the common phrase “Dunny” Australia uses too many Americanisms, lets stick to our Aussie lingo and call a spade a spade!!

    1 REPLY
    • I would much prefer loo as dunny reminds me of snakes & spiders in the outhouse down the back.

      1 REPLY
      • U got that right Nan.. Dunny & Thunder Box. down the back yard with all any sundry livestock.. YUCK!!!

  8. well Brien needs to wake up, this is the year 2014 ,well past his lifespan, things are different since the needle past 2000.
    take for instance women have taken over and changed everything because it has to be different,I wont argue with them for fear of a vengeance I might regret, lets look at this /////
    breakfast ,,, dinner ,,, and tea ///
    now ,breakfast,,, lunch ,,,and dinner????????
    give in to them mate they are dangerous. YOU WILL NOT WIN ,I,ve tried

  9. When I arrived in Australia in the’70s many of the public toilets were referred to as”Comfort Stations”….I had never heard that one before and it took a while to know what it meant…!!

  10. hi u are in correct in your asumption of the toilet not being the bathroom, in alot of homes the toilet is in the bathroom,part of 60s ,70s culture took up less room

    1 REPLY
    • NATURALLY! But I am only referring to PUBLIC toilets, not those in someone’s home, which could contain anything as well as the bath and the lavatory, and the bidet and the hand wash basin and the shower!

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