Thirteen for Thursday: Lost in translation in Beijing 40



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A friend sent me 13 things from a Beijing Hotel Brochure, translated from Mandarin to English! Have a laugh with these!

Here is my thirteen for Thursday, lost in translation…  a Beijing hotel brochure translation.





1. Our representative will make you wait at the airport.

2. The bus runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water.

3. You will know you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend.

4. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others

5. But please note ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar.

6. We organize social games so no guest is ever left alone to play with themselves.

7. At dinner our quartet will circulate table to table and fiddle with you.

8. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity.

9. Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas ring for the chambermaid.

10. Please take advantage of her, She will be pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear.

11. Each room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter every room is on heat.

12. Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting.

13. When you leave us at the end of the holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

Well that sure has me wanting to try it!!


What are some funny mistranslations you have seen in your travels?

image: shihwy1

Jacqui Lee

Jacqui Lee is 75 and now retired but the last ten years or so have been some of her busiest. She worked at a hospital, where she took several Certificated courses, she cleaned a school, helped to run two conventions, wrote short stories, started painting, and in fact is never bored even now, "I honestly feel we are lucky to still be upright and breathing, and my motto is, Remember yesterday, dream of tomorrow, but live today. I love fun, clothes, food and friends."

  1. Ah well, their English is better than your Mandarin! I saw a very nice restaurant in Nanjing which said “Please come and try our disgusting cuisine”.

  2. In the early 70s I worked for a company that manufactured electrical switchgear. Components were imported from Germany. From time to time difficulties in placing orders arose. Frustrated by the apparent lack of care in shipping goods as ordered a telex was sent to the suppliers in Germany suggesting that they must be of the opinion that Australia is out of sight and therefore out of mind. The return telex stated. Sorry we do not think you are invisible idiots.

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