The lies spread about me… in my own family. 407



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At this point I am beyond angry. My emotions are on a knife’s edge. I am trying to deal with all problems as they pop up and I have been doing really well, but when you have haters within your own family that treat you with utter contempt and will say and do anything to sabotage your relationships with not just family members but people in general, life becomes extremely difficult and frustrating. Most of the time I have no idea about the stories and lies that are being spread about me until they are brought to my attention and when they do come to light, I prefer to take the high road but some people believe the rubbish and damage is done.

Everything I do is wrong from what I eat to the way I have my hair cut to the shoes I put on my feet; it’s all wrong. If it is jealousy of the bond between myself and my son, I find that ridiculous. I am no threat; I am his mother. I was over the moon that he found someone that he wanted to spend his life with and I totally embraced her… it’s just a shame she cannot accept me for who I am.

I have kept my mouth firmly shut when I could have and probably should have said plenty. I said nothing just to try and keep things civil but everybody has a breaking point and just lately I feel I am fast reaching mine. I have felt a shift within me – it’s hard to explain but just feels like I have had enough. I wonder if other mother-in-laws are in the same boat? I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

In my desperation to be accepted, I buried the real me years ago. I have been wearing beige and never asking for any help but the hate continues. About two years ago while at an incredibly low point I had a serious discussion with myself. I looked at my anti-depressants and wondered if I really needed them or was I just a product of my environment. I needed to be strong within myself without relying on drugs of any description so I decided to wean myself off them and change the way I reacted to all the hate that is thrown at me.

The venom continues and probably always will but the fact is no longer care what people think of me. If they believe the rubbish, they don’t really know me and I don’t want to know them.

I just saw a post on Facebook stating about R U OK? Day. It’s such a shame they have to make a big deal about it once a year. Well I am not OK – far from it – but like a tortoise I am getting there slow and steady and like the tortoise I am determined to succeed.    


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This writer has chosen to remain anonymous.

  1. The hardest thing for anyone to do is love themselves but this is essential for our own well being. Just be yourself ,enjoy yourself and let the detractors go. As you said yourself if people really know you they wouldn’t be swayed by anything others say . Be true to yourself and keep growing tell yourself every day I Love who I Am

  2. This is very sad, I hope you have some support aero und you, it is very, very hard when people are so unkind

    3 REPLY
    • Me three.

      1 REPLY
      • I understand where you are coming from I had an experience of travelling with my son and his partner for 2 days by the end of it I was a mess mentally (I did know that she had issues with me) I have since decided to pick my battles I know she is jealous of my sons relationship with me but that is her problem. I am the mother of 3 sons so only have daughter-in-laws my husband passed away last year seeing a psychologist has helped me a lot

  3. Don’t bury your real self, its all you have. Your son seems to have found his soulmate, and now its up to you to step back and get on with your life. Find or revive friendships that make you feel great, you don’t need the negativity in your life. Have a look at these great women enjoying life- .
    Best wishes and let us know how you get on.

    1 REPLY
    • Great advice. I know this from very hard experience.

  4. I know how you feel , I wish you well some women are so consumed by jealously they can’t help themselves but you are not the only person to go through this type of thing just keep trying

  5. Look outside the family for new interests, join a sports or hobby group. Volunteers are always welcome in aged care and hospitals. Spend some money on your appearance, new haircut and colour, and new clothes (throw away the beige). You need a boost to your self esteem.

  6. OMG this sounds like parts of my story, all you can do is spend more time with the people who love you for you and try although very hard to let go of the ones who are causing you pain yes it is difficult, however each day gets easier as time goes on, and in time I’m sure you will be much happier than you are at the moment. Take care you deserve better.

  7. How sad for you ,you are right you are you and only let the people who know you for you in your life . Karma will surely help xxx

  8. Great advice Patricia. I also wish you were strong enough to speak to those family members and if need be cut your ties. Hope you meet some true friends who appreciate the real you. Sometimes families are not the best . Good luck stay strong.

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