The health of your second or third husband to be… should you look in his mouth before committing? ‏ 37



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When you examine the health of a horse do you look inside its mouth? Such inspections can reveal the cause of problems at sites very distant from the mouth. Medical conditions can include diabetes-like syndrome, kidney disease, liver disease, and heart disease. There is much more to dentistry than just teeth!

So should you be doing an inspection of the mouth when considering a second or third husband? What have they actually been doing all of their life? Did they jog or party, were they hippies or academics, are they motivated or lazy or just worn out from outdoor life? What is their actual health like? What are their health problems and are they worth the investment as a future partner?

All of the above topics are important when considering a second or third husband at our age, and I would have to put health at the top of the list. A prospective partner might look healthy, but have they actually participated in some sort of regular activity throughout their life. Are you going to be paying for their extensive medical problems a few minutes down the track, because you neglected to examine them properly and to find out about the weed they smoked, or tablets they are on? Do they have a heart condition, have they had major surgery, are they a sly drinker or obsessed with food, do they walk in a funny way, have they got psychological problems? Who did they murder last week? 

So what DO you need to know before committing to a formal relationship later in life? Is it whether they are going to make the distance or are you going to take the risk? This prospective partner might be quite healthy looking, but under a doctor to lose weight, or taking endless tablets a day to keep themselves alive. They may be hiding those extensive problems until they know you better. Is it going to be too late for you by the time you actually discover these conditions and have fallen in love? Remember the person who you are considering as a partner in old age, first needs to get to old age to be able to keep you company. 

Are they a smoker? Are they blowing that smoke in your face? Smoking will lead to cancer of the lungs, mouth, nose, throat, oesophagus, pancreas, kidney, liver, bladder, bowel, ovary, cervix, bone marrow, and stomach; lung diseases such as Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) which includes chronic bronchitis and emphysema; heart disease, heart attack and stroke. It includes, poor blood circulation in feet and hands, which can lead to pain and, in severe cases, gangrene and amputation. Do they have yellow teeth? Do they have any teeth? Oops!

So is this prospective partner going to turn into something else? How many tablets are they relying on to keep them healthy? Most heart attack victims end up with some form of brain damage and even personality disorders after a major heart attack. They are pumped full of different tablets (which cost a fortune) and according to some heart attack victims experience personality changes where they no longer care, and have become cold, and uncaring. Some find they no longer cope in stressful situations. Do you need all this in a second or third husband? Gosh and I have not even started on cancer!

Furthermore weight problems unaddressed can lead to new wardrobes, self consciousness, failure to get up and dance, and sleep apnoea. Where it is easy to sleep with a machine, a partner that refuses treatment tends to rock the house with snoring. Are they stopping breathing when they sleep? There is also that lack of oxygen problem if they are not having treatment, which can also lead to strange childlike behaviour? If you like to dance…. make sure they can get out of the chair and you are not likely to join them instead.

Although I do not want to pick out diabetes as a major problem, look to see if they pop diabetes tablets thinking it will solve the problem. Do they have teeth… are their eyes failing? Are they getting toes cut off? Are they trying to get improve or just living out the last years to the fullest? Are they impotent from the types of tablets they are taking? Are they living on Coca-Cola or alcohol? Are they drinking at all hours on their own? Surely you could tell that from their teeth. 

A dental practitioner needs the following instruments to perform a quality oral exam: head lamp, full mouth speculum, large-dose syringe, dental probe, dental explorer, lingual and buccal retractors, intraoral mirror, and dental halter or head stand.  Imagine if you turned up one day expecting to do the full examination of the mouth….and included it in the pre-nuptials as an essential!

Share your thoughts below: Did you wish you had checked on your first or even second or third husband’s health before you committed? Or do you accept them as they are?

Gill Johnston

  1. This makes you stop and think. Being single can be quite good, especially when meals, house work, exercise routines, friends, hobbies , money, outings – so on and so on., can be spontaneous and ‘free’. All these and more, are mine and my decision to make or do. Call it selfish! Do you really need a partner? It does take a lot of consideration. Thanks for the great article.

    1 REPLY
  2. Am I the only one that finds this hilarious. I am trying to picture it. We meet and I say to him that before committing further I need to look in your mouth. Sitting here laughing. All sounds too hard. Easier to remain single.

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  3. Can’t find the right word to describe this article-cold, full of self-interest, capitalistic, me me me ?

  4. If you really have to examine his mouth please do yourself a favour and take a pass. Are we all becoming too precious about ourselves and forgotten what it is like to just relax and go with the flow? Have we forgotten what it is like to fall in love with someone special? When did our society become all about me, me, me? To be alone is great and to have someone special in your life is great, but if you want someone your own age be prepared for a few medical problems, after all, I do not think you have reached a ripe old age with a clean bill of health.

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    • You took the words out of my mouth. Made me feel depressed then amused. OMG what a litany of maybe problems in this article. Have to read again, maybe it was written tongue in cheek ?

  5. My 2nd husband came over to Europe to find a wife. When he found we were compatible he did exactly this: inspected my mouth. I didn’t mind, thought it showed he had a good business sense, and we wanted to set up a business partner ship. Alas, it is he who is already dead, and I’m still alive.

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  6. There will never be a second, let alone a third, no way.

    4 REPLY
    • You must have been unlucky with the first. I toke the chance and second time round struck gold

    • I struck gold with my first one, still married 43 yrs this month, if I lose him, there will never be another, ever for me.

    • I was very lucky with my first had 35 years before he passed on, I didn’t think I would marry again either but I have been lucky to meet a wonderful man and we married. Twice lucky. .

    • Same hear we have been married 45 years and if anything happens there won’t be anyone else.

  7. Rather than worry about health, which is largely out of our control, better to concentrate on other issues. Do they bother communicating properly, do they have a hoarding problem (often joked about but exceptionally difficult to live with), do they refuse to ‘grow up’ (no will, no retirement plan, no real understanding of providing for the future), do they think it acceptable to spend the majority of their time away from their home and partner. I could go on, but I’m sure I don’t need to.

  8. If you have to go to that trouble it wouldn’t be worth, he might be healthy as hell and then get hit by a bus. I recently lost my partner who I moved in with 9 years ago. Shortly after he got diagnosed with throat cancer, and the operation and treatment began he survived that after having his voice box removed, he eventually got heart problems, which is what killed him, I would still do it all again as we had lots of trips away each winter, and we were best friends. Some times you just have to take the chance.

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