I’ve decided not to write an article today. Instead I have a few questions of great importance, which I am hoping some other over 60s can answer.
For instance, we all know that the world spins from west to east, which is why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The thing that puzzles me is, why does our weather almost always also come from the west, heading east? Everybody who lives in Melbourne knows that the weather Perth is getting now, will be in Victoria in a couple of days’ time. This means our weather is, for some reason spinning in the same direction as the world itself, but faster, when I would have expected the world to drag the weather along behind it, not be overtaken by it. Is there an answer?
Next question…why do television companies turn up the colour on program promotions? The colours are so intense for some reason that it is almost impossible to watch without being dazzled! Do the companies think that the added colour is going get us all excited about the show being advertised? Is the bloke in charge of program promotions colour-blind? Are they hoping this will make their ads stand out against the commercial ones also appearing (which, incidentally, are usually in perfectly normal colours)? It certainly pisses me off, anyway!
Now here’s a really daft one! Supposing you take a loaded rifle and shoot it straight up into the air. Eventually the bullet must slow down until it stops, before it begins the descent back to earth. The question is, will the bullet now travel backwards, or will it turn over, so the pointed end is at the front again?
Another thing that annoys me on the television is – why do personalities, when they are talking to each other, feel the need to look at the camera? I suppose some producers at some distant past date, thought that this would make viewers feel they were being included in the conversation, because it had always worked well in “kiddie-vision”. And that’s just how it feels for most adults watching, I’m sure, a little bit condescending and childish. We are, after all, quite capable of absorbing the content of the chat, without having to feel that we are personally involved in some way.
Two little speech habits I would love to know the reason for; first, why do so many people say “haitch” when referring to the eighth letter of the alphabet, when any dictionary that includes an indication of pronunciation says that it should be pronounced “aitch”, without the “H” on the front. And second, why do a lot of people say “axed”, when they actually mean “asked”? There must be a very simple reason for both of these foibles; most likely during early schooling I would guess, but it would be very interesting to discover where they actually came from.
Another imponderable! Stand at the top of a very all building and spin a coin off into the air (just like spinning a coin at the start of a football match). Question: will the coin keep spinning all the way to the ground, or will it run out of spin before it gets there? I imagine this, like the one above about the bullet, is one that can only be answered by the mathematicians among us, but I’d be interested to know.
Why does a slice of bread or toast, when well-buttered and jammed, always seem to land with the jam side underneath, especially when the accident happens over a nice Axminster carpet? Could it be that the weight of the fat and fruit on one side makes the bread turn that way, or is there someone ‘up there’ having a little joke at our expense?
Next inscrutable question…Why is it that you can keep something in full view on an easily accessible shelf for a year or more, then, when you want it for some reason, it’s just not there – how does it do that?
There’s no doubt about it, there’s more weird about the world than there is wonderful, just as there are more stupid questions floating about than there are sensible ones. I think I’ve just about used up all my daft ones for the moment, but I bet there are plenty of over 60s out there who can easily do better than this! And if you’re taking any of the above ‘questions’ seriously – you’re on the wrong track!
What are some funny questions you have about the world? What’s the best question and answer you’ve heard? Does anything really bug you and you just want to know why? Tell us about it below!