When I started writing this blog over three months ago I felt sure that I would be able to keep up with it. What I didn’t take into count was the fact that I am being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD has been part of my life for many years and while it went undiagnosed for many years, I have struggled with this at times debilitating illness since age 11. Without going into too much detail, I was removed from my parents at age 4, placed in the care of the state, and abused in my foster home by my primary care giver who had been entrusted with my care. I have been having continual treatment for 10 years now and despite my best efforts I just have times were I relapse and once again I am in what can only be described as a very dark place.
There is no set time I never know when it’s coming or when in fact I will feel well enough to cope with life.
During this time life is extremely hard and the thought of following my clean eating lifestyle, well it’s just too hard. When I first realised I was going downhill, I began to have anxiety attacks, these are nothing new but I had committed myself to writing my blog for three months and felt I had let the team down. I have spent hours thinking about how I would handle this, so instead of saying nothing I thought it best to share my story with you all in the hope that you will understand where I am currently at.
With regards to my weight loss it still stands at a total of 7 kg. When I embarked on this journey I was hoping to lose at least 15 kilos and while I am disappointed, I am not going to beat myself up over it. This is but a moment in time, I will get back on track because I have been doing it my whole life. It’s not whether you fall that makes you a good person it’s how you get up and keep going that determines who you are. I have no doubt that when some of you read my blog you will be sitting there identifying with some of what I have shared, we all have good days, and we all struggle with the hand that life has dealt us. However there is one thing that I won’t do is give up. as I said before I will get on top of this illness and I will get back to following my clean eating program. If you are struggling with your health or issues in your life I want you to know that this too shall pass.
So until next time remember it’s never too late to put yourself first in your journey to better health.