Making sure your parents and older relatives enjoy this Christmas

Prawns. Brandy. Cards. Carols. Fruitcake. Ho. Ho. Ho. These are some of the words we often associate with Christmas and the Festive Season. The holiday period is generally time of celebration and get-togethers with family and friends. Many businesses shut for several weeks, children are on summer holidays, beaches are crowded and many are on annual leave.

Although this period is happy and relaxing time for most, it can also bring on some unpleasant emotions in some, particularly those who are isolated, in poor health or have lost a loved one.

In my practice, as a psychologist in aged care, Christmas time is often very busy delivering group programs and workshops on how to deal during this period. Older adults in supported accommodation, can be distressed about the festivities, reminiscing about the good old days when they were independent and surrounded by their spouses, parents and siblings who have passed away. The unpleasant feelings are not only experienced by older adults, but also by those who care for them. I have had several relatives and unpaid carers contact me and ask “What if this is my last Christmas with mum?” The anticipated loss of a loved one can make the holiday period more difficult and I always encourage individuals to share memories, look at photos and cherish their time together.

Fortunately, there are many ways we can help older adults cope better during the Festive Season, particularly those with Holiday Blues. Think about your parents or older family members, how can you make sure they enjoy every moment you have together this Christmas?

Here are my top five tips:

1. Include older friends/Relatives in get-togethers. Allow them to participate in family barbecues and meal planning. Older people can often tire more easily and find that even couple of hours of social gathering is sufficient for their needs. By facilitating shorter visits it will allow them to participate within their tolerances and any sensory limits, such as deteriorating hearing and eyesight.

2. Lend a hand. There are many tasks that the older person may require assistance but may not ask for help. These include: gardening, cooking, spring cleaning and putting away winter clothes or shopping. If possible, involve the person in the activity instead of doing it all on their behalf. This will not only foster better outcomes, but it will also increase the older person’s self-confidence and ability to meaningfully contribute towards the activities in their lives.

3. Be a good listener. Be a supportive listener and encourage discussions about feelings and concerns. Acknowledge “difficult” feelings, including a sense of loss if family or friends have died or moved away. Individuals need to feel heard, and instead of jumping to offer advice, sometimes they just need an ear that will listen to them.

4. Encourage them to talk with healthcare provider. The holidays can cause people to feel anxious and depressed, but for some, holiday tensions can lead to full-blown clinical depression. In fact, many older adults don’t realise they are depressed and are often of the opinion that they can just snap out of it. If you suspect depression in someone you know, you may need to bring it up more than once. Let the person know that depression is a treatable medical illness and is not something to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, many older adults do not discuss their emotional wellbeing with their relatives and their GPs, in fear that they are burdening them. GPs and psychologists are there to assist.

5. Encourage the older person to remain active. Did you know that there are four types of exercises we should all engage in? These include: endurance, strength, balance and flexibility exercise. It is important to vary exercises to reduce muscle wastage, increase strength and resistance and reduce the risk of falls. Parking further away from shops, or walking around the block are some of the simple strategies that can be implemented on a daily basis

Together, lets beat the myth that depression and dementia are normal part of ageing. Please visit my website for upcoming workshops on Positive Ageing, Beyond Blue training and Carer Support Groups (currently only in Sydney).

Have you got parents or family members you have to care for over Christmas? Do they enjoy the Christmas season or is it difficult to keep them happy?