I’m just another grumpy old woman: The little annoyances you can’t escape in retirement

As another grumpy old woman I find the side effect of retirement is the onslaught of stupid television that we are exposed to, we sit down with a cup of coffee, and there is that frantic man shouting at me as he whizzes food in his food processor. I have really started to become paranoid about him. I could not be left near him with a sharp knife, not sure if I would be responsible for my actions. He has only one volume and that is high pitched yelling. Later it is a woman selling vastly overpriced make up or jewellery, or some undernourished female showing how a piece of elastic around her middle gives her the amazing figure, the truth being she was already gifted with an amazing figure. Can’t fool the old girl!

Suppose most of all I am outraged that they think we are all so easy duped, some of us actually went to school, some of even understand English, we can even work out that a piece of jewellery made in a huge factory is not worth the small fortune they are asking. A beautiful and rare piece made when they really used craftsmen, well a different story there.

Then another thing that has me spitting chips is the glossy magazine that arrives with the Sunday paper. I love fashion so always look at the fashion pages, but oh dear, I should not get started on this without checking I have taken all my heart pills because I read last week about the boots, the dress, and the rest of the bling, and added up the cost would have been about $10,000 for the one outfit. OK so they are preaching to the rich and privileged of the area, and I know we live in a society where there are people who can fling dollars around with gay abandon. My other gripe though, is that they sometimes only show the toe of the shoe, or a small glimpse of a blouse, who on earth takes the photos? If you are telling us it cost $3000, at least show it clearly.

Next on my list? The stupid obscure ingredients appearing in all recipes. One had organic water ….are they kidding? And several grains and strange seeds appear in all the food we eat. I know I am already using ‘virgin olive oil’ mostly because that is the easiest to grab when I shop. But the cost of some of these items is exorbitant: $10 dollars for a small bag of almond meal. Too much for this cash strapped pensioner. I am not going to spend my days looking for whacky items that taste like bird seed. The coffee shops are already awash with chai latte, almond milk and who knows whatever the next fad will be, but people will follow it like sheep.

Vegetables and fruit are always on my shopping list and I buy a good wholegrain flour to make my bread. I try not to give us processed food too often, a rare cheese cake or slice might just sneak into my shopping trolley, well a girl has cravings now and then…. and chocolate? Well it’s one of the food groups isn’t it? So guess I will just change channels, stop looking at expensive advertising, and refuse to buy weird ingredients. Instead I will paint and not watch TV, read some of the new books I have on Kindle, and eat chocolate. Sounds good to this old lady.

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