Grief comes in many forms 34



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I know from my experiences, knowing a loved one has lived their life into old age and then is suffering, it is a situation where much of the grieving process is happening. And when that loved one does leave this life, it is with relief that the suffering has finally ended for them, and the ones left behind are busy with arrangements and once all the visitors stop calling or visiting, that is when lonesomeness creeps in.

When a young loved one dies for whatever reason, that is devastating; parents are not supposed to bury their children. Then there is the grief of a loved one with mental illness, that is its own kind of hell.

I recall how I felt when I lost my beautiful, smart, talented, hard-working daughter to bipolar disorder. Oh my! That was hell for all who loved her as she became a different person. It was so scary, seeing her go through this. Suicidal, fragile, invincible, manic, depressed, ranting and accusing.

Totally out of touch with reality, yet was living in her own reality. In and out of the psych hospital. For me as her mother, it was heartbreaking, and it was as if she were another person altogether, this illness stole her from me and there were occasional glimpses of my wonderful daughter, then she would be gone off onto the next whirlwind.

Thankfully she did come through – it took several years to actually have her medications adjusted so she could return to her former self. I am so proud of her and what she has accomplished. She has overcome and what a joy it is to have her back. She is such a smart woman, she has studied and researched all she could about her illness and medications treatments etc. She had a good understanding of what was happening.

There were times I wondered if she would ever return to her former self and she has not, she has returned stronger and wiser and in full control of her state of wellness. She is an amazing woman. I thank God that prayers were answered when she became whole again.

Tell us, have you been through grief before?

Guest Contributor

  1. Mike here- lost my mothrr to cancer in 1970, lost my youngest sister to drugs in 1972, lost my father to cigarettes & other things in 1981 & my older sister to drugs in the late 80’s. Now hang onto my remaining 2 siblings. Visit whenever within 100km on a trip but see them every month anyway

  2. Grief comes in many forms. Being told one has a incurable illness can easily bring on grief. One dreams of the things that will now never be experienced. Live one day at a time we only have today.

  3. Yes dreams lost for the individual too…life becomes a series of challenges to get from the beginning of one day to the end of it with some type of dignity…no hope of choices, the illness takes them…silent warriors.

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    • I do relate to this. Lost our son the mental illness 23 yrs ago. He will never be the same and we mourn for all his lost opportunities 😥

    • He mourns for them too but you have stuck by him, that is huge…accepting a new type of normal is the best we can do…hugs to you all.x

  4. Grief is a terrible thing,one minute every thing is happy,
    Then the next thing comes as a big shock,
    My husband got cancer, it went to his bone,
    Thanks to all the love support from Liverpool hospital
    He is still in remission,

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  5. I have grieved through and before my late partner died of Pancreatic cancer at the age of 39. He died 10 months after being diagnosed. That was almost 30 years ago. Now I am grieving at the loss of my dearly loved present partner of two years who is a Vietnam Veteran who is suffering from Depression, Anxiety and PTS hence affecting our relationship so much so we have just separated because he refuses to get support from Veteran Affairs. I am grieving right now and having a hard time coming to grips with the situation. So yes there are all types of situations where you go through the grieving process.

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  6. I’m caring for my wife of 62 years. Ede is a Dementia sufferer. I’ve lost my parents, I’ve lost many loved ones. To look at Ede and know she doesn’t understand anything anymore is…. Grief, yes l know about grief. Those of us that are carers, 24/7,
    know about grieving for the living ones you love…..thanks for the post….

    4 REPLY
    • Mike here-know where you are at George, my sympathies. For the last 10 yeaes of our working lives June & I worked in the aged care arena, in the Kimberley. We cared for Aboriginal Elders some with Dementia. Keep fighting

    • Thank you Mike. You know, unless you live with or care for loved ones or in your case one of our carers, no one knows the heart break that you go through watching a beautiful life fall apart because of this insidious disease. Thank you again for the work you have done (doing)

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